IF YOU WERE ME....

[YAN]

Good day guys.:)

I just want to ask help and hear from you on what are you going to do if youre in my
situation.

Let me start,Im a year over now since i came here as a wife.The few months was ok,not to say its great.My husband was chosen to be assigned to other department of the company he's working.And it made a big decrease from his salary,:( while me after 2mos since i arrived,i got so bored and got nothing to do at home so i asked him if i could go to work and he agreed(i worked sa snack;at night syempre).He used to sent and fetch me at work.

As time passed by,he started saying na he doesnt have money,and he cant help me send money to phil anymore,since im working naman,i told him its ok.Ill be the one to send money from my salary.And by the way guys di ko alam kung magkano exact salary nya:rolleyes: ,di ako humahawak ng money or allowance namin for a month,yet its opposite to what we have compromised before we got married.Kahit ilang beses ko sabihin and tanungin,i wasnt able to get an exact answer.To make the story short....

Madalas na uminit ang ulo nya,lagi na kami nagaaway:fence: even about petty things lumalaki,nagtsumetai na kami sa isatisa,away ng away,there were times,we dont talk for a week,two weeks:shutup:,di nya na ko sinusundo at hinahatid.di na din sya naglalabas ng pera,sinasabi nya lagi wala,kahit kausapin mong mabuti nkasigaw lagi,tanungin mo kung anong problem,umiiwas lang sya.As in hindi ko sya makausap ng maayos,ever.:hellfir e:Napipikon na talaga ko sa kanya,gustuhin ko man umalis,iwas worried kasi one year pa lang naman visa ko,it became a routine away,away,nakakasawa ,di talaga ako masaya.and just recently sabi nya sa mail sa akin na bibitawan nya na yung house namin,(ikkenya ba tawag dito)di na siguro sya makahulog,tinatanong ko kung until when kami makakastay dito sabi nya di nya pa daw alam,and his plan when it happens,dun sa house ng nanay nya tumira.Mo nanimo dekinai na daw kasi sya.Ganon na lang ba yun,di nya nako kaya buhayin,byebye na!.He asked me if its ok w/me,sabi ko ayaw ko,i dont hate his mom,its just that hindi ko lang talaga kaya yung buhay na kasama ang inlaw,promise mga kapatid,di ko talaga kaya!:nono: but then,mukhang decidido na sya.ako naman,i just waited for my visa extension,and now i got my 3years extension:toast: (thanks GOD!consuelo na siguro sa mga kunsumisyon ko).ngayon,ang problem ko is,ano na ba ang gagawin ko,balak ko sana bumalik dun sa province na pinagtrabahuhan ko as talent before,libre pabahay,makakaipon ako,or kahit magrent ako,parang mas gusto ko pa lumayo,others says bakit hindi ko na lang daw tulungan makabayad yung hubby ko dun sa bahay,mga 3mos pa lang naman sya di nakakahulog,ok lang naman sakin yun,besides asawa ko sya,eh kung mabait sya sakin:halo: :love: ,ang masama ako na nga naglalabas almost lahat ngayon,e wala sya kahit konting consideration man lang,saka hindi na ako happy sa ralationship namin,kahit i still love him:sweeties: . ive done almost all the strategies to make it work,pero wala,ako lang naman ang nageexert ng effort.Naiisip ko im just wasting my time,im still young and theres still a lot instore for me,kesa naman sayangin ko at magtiis dito,wala naman magandang nangyayari,kung kayo kaya,ano gagawin nyo,im so confused and soon to be maloka. i had to make up my mind a.s.a.p. i need your advice,whats the best thing to do?

[c_ehara]

Dear Yan,

Just talk to him in the way he likes. Siguro pareho kayong mainit ang ulo. Just post for a moment or day before u approach him. Walang impossibly sa pag-uusap ng mabuti. Yan, just recall kung paano kayo nag-aaway noong hindi pa kayo kasal at paano ito naresolve...Use your techniques before. Siguro kausapin mo cya with love Yan....

Kami ng long time boyfriend ko, kapag galit cya sa akin at ayaw nya akong kausapin. Eh, quiet din ako para walang gulo, hintayin ko na sya ang lalapit sa akin. Because I know that time kalmado na siya. Until such time, na cya na rin ang kumausap sayo na may problema cya. Kasi sometimes ang lalaki ay secretive, minsan hindi natin alam na may problema sila sa ibang bagay o sa ibang tao, eh, kung sabayan natin ay talagang mag-aaway kayo.

To go away is not the solution, mgtrabaho ka dahil may pamilyang umaasa sayo dito sa pinas, diba. Huwag mong ipakita sa kanya na you concern....para narin yan sa mga kasagutan ng mga tanong mo...

[mrs-mymelo]

Yan
A successful marriage is compose of three.:)
A Man,A woman and God.Bofore making a desicion,always think
many times.Consider what he is and be fair.Mahal mo siya di ba?
Wala na nga s'yang good income,so he can't be a good provider.
Ngayon you seem to let him feel he's nothing.Hindi naman yata
maganda 'yon.Sa hirap at ginhawa magtulungan kayo.Kasi mag-asawa
kayo.Pwede namang hindi kayo lumipat ng tirahan,doon sa in-laws mo,
(mahirap yata 'yan),basta magtulungan kayo financially.Ipakita mo sa
kanya na di ka nagbago para babalik din 'yong dating glow ng relationship
ninyo.
Marriage adjustment takes ten years as they said..For me..No!..it's a
lifetime adjustment,coz' the problem we meet isn't the same and
life still continues...Me and hubby will have our 15th year anniversary
this coming May..(too long),I can't and never say tapos na ang adjustment
period namin.We fight,we argue,we get crazy together..but that's us.
And we still both sleep without heartaches because we don't sleep
if we don't talk and learn to accept the mistakes.
We live in poverty,dahil maraming utang asawa ko...but that's not the
hindrance to live happily with someone you love.We have to fight for
each other, not with just for ourself.
You choose to marry him because you love him,not for money right?
Listen to him...not just talk..he may have something to say that you missed
to know coz' you didn't listen.
Goodluck to you Yan,God bless your marriage.

[katheyrine]

A successful marriage is compose of three.:) A Man,A woman and God.Bofore making a desicion,always think many times.Consider what he is and be fair.Mahal mo siya di ba?
Wala na nga s'yang good income,so he can't be a good provider. Ngayon you seem to let him feel he's nothing.Hindi naman yata maganda 'yon.Sa hirap at ginhawa magtulungan kayo.Kasi mag-asawa kayo.Pwede namang hindi kayo lumipat ng tirahan,doon sa in-laws mo, (mahirap yata 'yan),basta magtulungan kayo financially.Ipakita mo sa kanya na di ka nagbago para babalik din 'yong dating glow ng relationship ninyo.

Marriage adjustment takes ten years as they said..For me..No!..it's a lifetime adjustment,coz' the problem we meet isn't the same and life still continues...Me and hubby will have our 15th year anniversary this coming May..(too long),I can't and never say tapos na ang adjustment period namin.We fight,we argue,we get crazy together..but that's us. And we still both sleep without heartaches because we don't sleep if we don't talk and learn to accept the mistakes.We live in poverty,dahil maraming utang asawa ko...but that's not the hindrance to live happily with someone you love.We have to fight for each other, not with just for ourself.

Yan ang ganda ng advice ni MRS-MYMELO...Gusto ko lang magthank you sa thread mo kasi minsan talagang nalilito na rin ba ako sa marriage namin ng asawa ko...at thank you rin lalo na kay MRS-MYMELO kasi naliwanagan akong bigla...atsa advise nya malaki ang natutunan kong bigla...

God bless MRS-MYMELO! and Yan..I hope you won`t give up...all the best!

[summergirl]

You have to think 1000 times first before deciding.Why don't you talk to your husband at sabihin mo sa knaya what's your plan..siguro mag-kakaintindihan kayo sa maayos na pag-sasama..Kasi ang pag-kaintindi ko .Once you love somebody kailangan mong mag-tiis..Think this over and everything is gonna be alright.God Bless Dear!

[YAN]

Thanks for the earlier posters and sa mga magpopost pa,and dun sa mga nag pm thank you talaga sa inyo guys.

All of you guys are saying na magusap kami,how will i be able to do it,eh whenever na maganda ang mood nya,and tried to talk nakaangas kaagad sya,naloloka na talaga ako sa kanya,grabe!I cant patch things up alone,alam nyo naman lahat na it takes two to tango,ang masama ako lang ang nagsasayaw.Im totally dissapointed and frustrated,di ko na sya mahandle,im willing to help and stay for him kung maging nice lang sya,masama ako na nga lang tumutulong sa kanya,para pa syang monster towards me.Unfair naman diba?:ohlord: :ohlord:

[lalen16loves]

mrs-mymelo ,

para ka ring si jo d mango ha kung magpayo.....kaya ito ang gustong gusto ko sa TF, maraming good adviser...:) kung hindi dahil sa TF , baka hiwalay na kami ng asawa ko ngayon...

ganyan din ako nun, 1st , 2nd year, puro away away....:hellfire: :fence: ...nakaka stress....

pero ngayon.............. away parin..............h ihihi
kasama na yata sa buhay mag-asawa yan eh........kadalasan sanhi ng away,,PERA...(sa totoo lang )..lalo na in terms ng obligations sa pinas....pero ok lang yan may work ka naman...

yung tungkl naman sa sweldo ng asawa mo , maraming hapon ang ganyan...:rolleyes: ang importante , pinapayagan kanyang magwork dahil alam nyang wala syang maitutulong sayo ngayon..:) at the same time , makakatulong karin sa seikatsu nyong mag-asawa dito...:) baka nga mas stress pasya sayo ngayon kung ganyang mas marami syang problema...kaya unawain mo nalang...kailangan nya ng suporta mo....

may friend ako nakapag hindi sya magwork , hindi sila makakain ng maayos..sa mga bayarin palang , kulang na kulang ang sahod ng asawa nya...kaya kailangan nyang tulungan ang asawa nya...UNAWAIN mo nalang sya sis :) at wag mo nalang din sabayan ang galit nya.......maging malambing ka parin sa kanya.....tingnan mo mag-oopen sayo yan...at kung anuman ang maging problema, magtulungan kayo....

tama yata sabi i mrsmelo, lifetime yata ang adjustment ng mag-asawa :D at ok naman ang asawa mo eh , at least hindi sya nambababae at hindi ka nya sinasaktan di ba ?:)

[mukomae]

hello YAN sa tingin ko according dun sa post mo ha yun hubby mo kaya laging mainit ang ULO kasi feeling ko natatapakan mo na ang pride niya,na di mo naman tinatapakan...lahat niyan yun negative na isip nya eh... tas alam mo ba yun feeling na gusto mo ibigay lahat kaso di niya mabigay sayo kasi wala nga, talagang mag iinit ang ulo niya diba...masakit para sa isang asawa lalaki yun....

PRIDE sa tingin ko ha ang bumabalot sa utak ng asawa mo, malay mo ginagawa lang niya ito para ayawan mo siya kasi nga as in totaly damn na siya sa pananaw niya..

If I were U try to make lambing to him...tulungan mo siya ibalik ang self esteem niya...nawawala na ang jisin niya sa sarili niya ... which is kailangan ka niya talaga sa tabi niya...kaya dont dare to leave him lalo na ngayong walang wala siya....

please try to understand him... lalaki siya mataas ang ego tas ayun yung mahal niya sa buhay di niya mabigyan ng happiness ... masakit sa lalaki yun sis...

kaya try to be patient...sabi nga patience is a virtue...
GANBATTE NE SIS...

sa aking pananaw lang po miss YAN

[Autumn]

@ yan, sis kung sa palagay mo eh nagawa mo na ang lahat ng kaya mo.at ayaw kamong makipag usap saiyo nang maayos..palagay ko dapat mo nang hiwalayan,
marami na syang dahilan.dadalawa lang kayo magkano ba ang kailangan pera para mabuhay kayo ng maayos?
alam mo kung asawa talaga turing saiyo nyan.dapat alam mo kung magkano tedori nya(salary) magkano loan sa housing etc diba.? at dapat di sya aarte ng parang bata ano ba sya 5years old at di marunong magsalita at puro paangil? paano ka makakatulong kung ayaw naman maki pag cooperate..
bata ka pa huwag mong sayangin panahon mo sa kanya..Sayang ka para sa kanya...pagmamahal ? mawawala din yan baka isumpa mo pa sya pag tumagal pa kayo.totoo na lahat ng problema napag uusapan..kung dalawa kayong mag uusap at hindi yun tanong mo sagot mo...goodluck saiyo..anyway ikaw naman ang mag de decide ..pasensya ka na sa payo ko..ewan kung Tama..dahil ako tapos na sa pag mamartir..:) kasi may hangganan naman lahat diba ..;)

[docomo]

There are many things I learned from my experience, but one of the most important is that you have to make your own choices about what you believe is right. If you make your choices according to the kind of responses you expect to get, you will find yourself in confusion and chaos when the responses come more from internal fears than from anything you have said or done. I hope that make sense.:)

[Soju6]

If you believe na things will not get better at lalo lang lumalala at kaya mong maging independent...."You pack your bags and leave!" Siguro kaya ganyan lagi ang treatment na nakukuha ng "karamihan" ng pinay na Asawa ng hapon kasi alam nila na kahit anong mangyari ay di kayang humiwalay ng pinay sa asawang hapon....takot ang pinay humiwalay for financial reasons? Visa? base lang ho sa mga nababasa ko.

Now if you want to stay with him.....Stay and suffer, it's up to you.
Ikaw na rin ang nagsabi na hindi ka na masaya.

[csbaby]

Yan san,musta na akala ko tapos natong problema mo.by the way,hanggat kaya mong makipag plastikan sa asawa mo kayanin mo.isipin mo ang visa mo kasi 3 years palang yan at antayin mong mag PR po kayo.baka po kasi pag umalis ka ngayon baka isumbong ka ng hubby mo sa immigration baka ma deport ka.kasi may kakilala ako na deport po sya.sa pagkakaintindi ko lang po stress yan ang hubby mo sa nangyari sa work nya.sinama ka pala nya sa bahay ng biyenan mo pakisamahan mo ang biyenan mo di naman lahat mahirap makisama sa umpisahan hirap talaga.malay nyo po ang biyenan mo ang makakatulong sa inyo.hanggat di ka pinapalayas ng hubby mo hwag po kayong umalis.kuhanin mo ang loob ng biyenan mo at ang hubby mo.gawin mo ang responsibilidad mo bilang asawa.dito nalng muna.gambatte kudasai ne...

[sharpener]

tingin ko sa asawa mo...problemado sya talaga, aburido
tama ba na hiwalayan mo sya sa oras ng kanyang paghihirap

bakit hindi mo kayang makisama sa byenan mo????
nanakit ba sila? kumakain ba sila ng tao???

kung pinoy napangasawa mo. nasapok na siguro pagmumukha mo
magulang ng asawa mo di mo kayang pakisamahan...bad yan iha

[infinite_trial]

whether you decide if you're going to stay or not with your husband, i think the best thing to do is look for another job, yung well-paid. so that when the time comes you decide to leave him, you will be able to provide for yourself and your family. there are women who can stand being the "man of the house" provided that their husbands can switch roles too. ang lagay ba nun ikaw na ang bumubuhay sa kanya, pati sa bahay e asal-hari pa din sya? no way jose.

[docomo]

whether you decide if you're going to stay or not with your husband, i think the best thing to do is look for another job, yung well-paid. so that when the time comes you decide to leave him, you will be able to provide for yourself and your family. there are women who can stand being the "man of the house" provided that their husbands can switch roles too. ang lagay ba nun ikaw na ang bumubuhay sa kanya, pati sa bahay e asal-hari pa din sya? no way jose.


bakit nakasama si mang jose?:p

true ! ano sila binibertdey .. hindi kawalan ang lalaki sa buhay ng babae :)

[c_ehara]

Yan,

Tama c docomo. It's up to you which of which of our advises you are going to listen. But, make it sure that your mind and heart are prepare.

Good Luck sa iyong mga decisions and I hope it's according to the will of God.

[ICHIBAN08]

:yesyes: , tama po lahat ang mga nagbigay sayo ng advices tungkol sa problema ninyo mag asawa...para sakin, kumilos ka na at gawin ang alam mong tama at mas nakakagaan ng loob para sayo at syempre po kasama ang pagtawag sa dios...yun lang po and goodluck!:)

[Soju6]

“.. hindi kawalan ang lalaki sa buhay ng babae ”

If these words are coming from a third person, a tomboy…..wa ako say.


Pa OT lang.. Miss Doc, ang ibig niyo sigurong sabihin ay, Hindi kawalan yung ganung klaseng lalake tulad ng asawa ni miss Yan, sa buhay niya./?

[docomo]

“.. hindi kawalan ang lalaki sa buhay ng babae ”

If these words are coming from a third person, a tomboy…..wa ako say.

LOL .. what do you think? :p

Pa OT lang.. Miss Doc, ang ibig niyo sigurong sabihin ay, Hindi kawalan yung ganung klaseng lalake tulad ng asawa ni miss Yan, sa buhay niya./?

maybe you should practice brevity in a reading exercise or let's just say read between the lines .:)

[honey]

hello YAN san :D

Malamang naSTRESS asawa mo kasi nawalan sya ng trabaho halo halong emotions ang nararamdaman nya ngaun tingin nya sa sarili nya wala na syang silbi, hindi ka na nya kayang buhayin, paano na kayong 2, ang binubuo nya sanang magandang pamilya kung wala naman syang trabaho.Yan san ang pinaka dabest na gawin mo kesa awayin mo sya ng awayin SUPPORT laging maganda ang sasabihin mo sa kanya na kaya nyo ano man ang bagay na dumating na pagsubok sa buhay nyo basta't magkasama kayong dalawa sabihin mong hindi sya nag-iisa asawa ka nya kaya kaya mo rin lumaban sa buhay 'wag syang mawalan ng pag-asa maraming trabaho dyan kahit maliit lang ang maging swledo nya PERA parin yon hindi mapupulot lang kung saan.Ang importante magkasama kayong 2 at nagtutulungan:) .

TIIS kung ayaw mong tumira sa inlaws mo mag-tiis ka na kasama sila alang alang sa asawa mo wala pa syang trabaho pero kung kaya mong supportahan ang pambayad sa magiging bahay nyo maghanap ka ng kaya mong bayaran lang.Alalalahin mo yung pagtira mo sa inlaws mo medyo makakatulong sa pag-iipon mo para mabayaran ang naiwang utang ng asawa mo.MAKISAMA ka sa mga inlaws mo tandaan mo na mahal ng asawa mo yan kaya mahalin mo rin sila na parang magulang mo.

"'WAG MO IWAN ASAWA MO SA GANYANG KALAGAYAN KAILANGAN KA NYA KAPAG INIWAN MO SYA DINAGDAGAN MO LANG PAGHIHIRAP SA KALOOBAN NYA:( " kahit sabihin pa nyang umalis ka kabaliktaran yon siguradong mahal ka ng asawa mo ayaw ka lang nya sigurong maghirap sa piling nya kaya binibigyan ka nya ng dahilan para iwan mo sya.Yan san hindi tinatakasan ang problema o situation na pinasukan hinaharap yan para sulusyunan.

GOODLUCK YAN san 'wag mong isipin na katapusan mo na dahil maraming housewife ang nagdaan sa ganyang situation mas malala pa sa kalagayan mo pero masayang nagsasama pa rin sa ngaun dahil sa TIYAGA SUPORTA at PAGMAMAHAL.

[lalen16loves]

[quote=Soju6;257833]“.. hindi kawalan ang lalaki sa buhay ng babae ”



I LIKE THIS :)

makapag-impake na nga rin at hindi sya kawalan sa buhay ko...:D :D :D

[Soju6]

Ohh I see how it is......"My way or the Highway".

The Boys are up north, the ladydriver/owner of the carpool said "we go south", one girl passenger mumbled,"but...but....but.... !"

Sensiya na Doc, I know that you are the most respected person in TF tsaka MOD ka pa.
I just want to see any of our TF girls grow some "balls" and say, "excuse me ma'm, but I think you speak for yourself when you said, "hindi kawalan ang lalaki sa buhay ng babae".

Tahimik lang sila samantalang sa ibang threads, they say good things about their crushes, Boyfiends, husbands and most important, good sex.

Bakit kaya ganun?hmmm...?


"maybe you should practice brevity in a reading exercise or let's just say read between the lines ".


Sensiya na ulit Doc, lumabas na dugo sa ilong ko pero di ko pa rin maarok kung bakit mo nasabi ito.....hayyy, hirap ng mapurol ang ulo.

[Soju6]

lalen,

You go girl!! pero make sure you'll come up with a plan muna bago ka mag impake.
Kung puede eh habang nandiyan ka pa, make some arrangement muna kung saan ka titira at saan ka magtatrabaho......ku ng malapit ka lang dito, ampunin muna kita.

Ayun!!!! lumabas din ang tunay na pakay...hahahahaha (Biro lang)

[sharpener]

the Doc and Soj...ahihihi:biglau gh:

[chris_rock]

Ohh I see how it is......"My way or the Highway".

The Boys are up north, the ladydriver/owner of the carpool said "we go south", one girl passenger mumbled,"but...but....but.... !"

Sensiya na Doc, I know that you are the most respected person in TF tsaka MOD ka pa.
I just want to see any of our TF girls grow some "balls" and say, "excuse me ma'm, but I think you speak for yourself when you said, "hindi kawalan ang lalaki sa buhay ng babae".

Tahimik lang sila samantalang sa ibang threads, they say good things about their crushes, Boyfiends, husbands and most important, good sex.

Bakit kaya ganun?hmmm...?


"maybe you should practice brevity in a reading exercise or let's just say read between the lines ".


Sensiya na ulit Doc, lumabas na dugo sa ilong ko pero di ko pa rin maarok kung bakit mo nasabi ito.....hayyy, hirap ng mapurol ang ulo.

not doc...

but i'd like to think that the statement '"hindi kawalan ang lalaki sa buhay ng babae" was supposed to be meant for no good, lazy ass, unfaithful, cheating, money squandering idiots masquerading as husbands, partners, boyfriends. with or without the good sex.

cheers. :)

[docomo]

Ohh I see how it is......"My way or the Highway".

The Boys are up north, the ladydriver/owner of the carpool said "we go south", one girl passenger mumbled,"but...but....but.... !"

Sensiya na Doc, I know that you are the most respected person in TF tsaka MOD ka pa.
I just want to see any of our TF girls grow some "balls" and say, "excuse me ma'm, but I think you speak for yourself when you said, "hindi kawalan ang lalaki sa buhay ng babae".

Tahimik lang sila samantalang sa ibang threads, they say good things about their crushes, Boyfiends, husbands and most important, good sex.

Bakit kaya ganun?hmmm...?

Maybe you should ask them yourself .;)



Sensiya na ulit Doc, lumabas na dugo sa ilong ko pero di ko pa rin maarok kung bakit mo nasabi ito.....hayyy, hirap ng mapurol ang ulo.

Really? That's too bad :p


As a woman I know what I want and don't want .That doesn't mean I have no compassion, it just means that you can still be compassionate, and not someone's doormat. I hope I'm making some sense.. :)

[Soju6]

Chris!! I always knew that you are the smart one, stepping up to the plate.... I don't know what to do w/o you buddy! You Rock!!

Doc, you had the most saddest and sorriest experience with men ? my heart bleeds for you . ...same goes for the girls ( that are normal) who keeps on blabbing about they can live w/o men. How long can they lie to themselves? I don't know.

I know one thing for sure..."i can't live w/o women". I'll do anything for them!!!

I don't know much about history or mythology...(napapan ood ko lang sa Movies) how the "Troy" or the trojans went to war and Lost, how the Romans lost their grips on egypt or how King Arthur and his Knights went crumbling down....."women"!

And that's how I am, I'll freaking go to war for them if I have to...hehehe. I know we are not talking about me here....share ko lang.

Kaya ang Favorite Song ko eh " One Hundred Ways" by James Ingram.

[infinite_trial]

Doc, you had the most saddest and sorriest experience with men ? my heart bleeds for you . ...same goes for the girls ( that are normal) who keeps on blabbing about they can live w/o men. How long can they lie to themselves? I don't know.

dude, i think that's too personal to ask. #1 rule wit trolling, you don't make it too obvious.

i created a separate thread, if you want you can discuss there. you successfully hijacked this thread.

[Soju6]

Would you be speaking on behalf of Doc if she’s not “the most respected person/Moderator here on TF?” You’ll do the same for everyone here is your answer, rightttt. Too personal for you doesn’t mean it’s too personal for all the women here in TF.

Too personal or not but those are the only reasons that I can think of para masabi ng isang babae na “hindi kawalan ang lalake sa buhay nila” and the topic being discussed made me come up with that question.
Don’t get me wrong here, respetado ko si Doc, may mga nabasa rin kasi akong mga posts niya but it doesn’t mean that she’s immune or I’m not allowed to ask her Q’s like this.
At lalo na pag sinabi niyang “ Let’s go south because the girls are up north, I’ll jump out of that moving car in a heart beat and run going the other direction….you can believe that.


If it’s too personal para sa kanya, hintayin ko na lang “sabihin niya sa akin”.



Nag post naman ako sa thread mo ha…..di mo ba nakita?

And now I’m a hijacker..

[infinite_trial]

^ sus naman pinersonal naman yung post ko hehe...
i would be glad if you take your questions to her there on that thread. respect naman dun sa threadstarter kasi nagpopost sya ng problem, naiiba yung usapan. kaya ontopic dapat di ba?

i'm not speaking behalf of her. bakit kasi kayong mga lalaki gusto nyo yatang ilagay namin kayo sa pedestal? can't you live with the fact that there are some women who really don't feel that having a man is a necessity? kung kaya nyong gawin yan samin, well we can also do that. paminsan-minsan naman e kami naman ang gumamit sa inyo :p

[gabriel]

Good day guys.:)

I just want to ask help and hear from you on what are you going to do if youre in my
situation.

Let me start,Im a year over now since i came here as a wife.The few months was ok,not to say its great.My husband was chosen to be assigned to other department of the company he's working.And it made a big decrease from his salary,:( while me after 2mos since i arrived,i got so bored and got nothing to do at home so i asked him if i could go to work and he agreed(i worked sa snack;at night syempre).He used to sent and fetch me at work.

As time passed by,he started saying na he doesnt have money,and he cant help me send money to phil anymore,since im working naman,i told him its ok.Ill be the one to send money from my salary.And by the way guys di ko alam kung magkano exact salary nya:rolleyes: ,di ako humahawak ng money or allowance namin for a month,yet its opposite to what we have compromised before we got married.Kahit ilang beses ko sabihin and tanungin,i wasnt able to get an exact answer.To make the story short....

Madalas na uminit ang ulo nya,lagi na kami nagaaway:fence: even about petty things lumalaki,nagtsumetai na kami sa isatisa,away ng away,there were times,we dont talk for a week,two weeks:shutup:,di nya na ko sinusundo at hinahatid.di na din sya naglalabas ng pera,sinasabi nya lagi wala,kahit kausapin mong mabuti nkasigaw lagi,tanungin mo kung anong problem,umiiwas lang sya.As in hindi ko sya makausap ng maayos,ever.:hellfir e:Napipikon na talaga ko sa kanya,gustuhin ko man umalis,iwas worried kasi one year pa lang naman visa ko,it became a routine away,away,nakakasawa ,di talaga ako masaya.and just recently sabi nya sa mail sa akin na bibitawan nya na yung house namin,(ikkenya ba tawag dito)di na siguro sya makahulog,tinatanong ko kung until when kami makakastay dito sabi nya di nya pa daw alam,and his plan when it happens,dun sa house ng nanay nya tumira.Mo nanimo dekinai na daw kasi sya.Ganon na lang ba yun,di nya nako kaya buhayin,byebye na!.He asked me if its ok w/me,sabi ko ayaw ko,i dont hate his mom,its just that hindi ko lang talaga kaya yung buhay na kasama ang inlaw,promise mga kapatid,di ko talaga kaya!:nono: but then,mukhang decidido na sya.ako naman,i just waited for my visa extension,and now i got my 3years extension:toast: (thanks GOD!consuelo na siguro sa mga kunsumisyon ko).ngayon,ang problem ko is,ano na ba ang gagawin ko,balak ko sana bumalik dun sa province na pinagtrabahuhan ko as talent before,libre pabahay,makakaipon ako,or kahit magrent ako,parang mas gusto ko pa lumayo,others says bakit hindi ko na lang daw tulungan makabayad yung hubby ko dun sa bahay,mga 3mos pa lang naman sya di nakakahulog,ok lang naman sakin yun,besides asawa ko sya,eh kung mabait sya sakin:halo: :love: ,ang masama ako na nga naglalabas almost lahat ngayon,e wala sya kahit konting consideration man lang,saka hindi na ako happy sa ralationship namin,kahit i still love him:sweeties: . ive done almost all the strategies to make it work,pero wala,ako lang naman ang nageexert ng effort.Naiisip ko im just wasting my time,im still young and theres still a lot instore for me,kesa naman sayangin ko at magtiis dito,wala naman magandang nangyayari,kung kayo kaya,ano gagawin nyo,im so confused and soon to be maloka. i had to make up my mind a.s.a.p. i need your advice,whats the best thing to do?

If I were you. . . . . I think Docomo is absobloodylutely right. I will sit in the corner. Think things over and with a pen I will write down my problems then next to them I will write down the possible solutions to them as well as the consequences of those solutions and my possible responses or action. Whatever you do YAN don't live together with your in-laws. Unless if your in-laws are ningen(Human). But first things first. . . . I would like to repeat what Docomo has said. . . What do you want to do? You decide on what to do then perhaps we can help.

[gabriel]

Ohh I see how it is......"My way or the Highway".

The Boys are up north, the ladydriver/owner of the carpool said "we go south", one girl passenger mumbled,"but...but....but.... !"

Sensiya na Doc, I know that you are the most respected person in TF tsaka MOD ka pa.
I just want to see any of our TF girls grow some "balls" and say, "excuse me ma'm, but I think you speak for yourself when you said, "hindi kawalan ang lalaki sa buhay ng babae".

Tahimik lang sila samantalang sa ibang threads, they say good things about their crushes, Boyfiends, husbands and most important, good sex.

Bakit kaya ganun?hmmm...?


"maybe you should practice brevity in a reading exercise or let's just say read between the lines ".


Sensiya na ulit Doc, lumabas na dugo sa ilong ko pero di ko pa rin maarok kung bakit mo nasabi ito.....hayyy, hirap ng mapurol ang ulo.

Hello So How are you? I have been reading all the postings on this thread and I think they're all brilliant posts. But it beats me why you choose to pick a particular person and been incredibly sarcastic to her. There is absolutely no need for sarcasm. A simple advise will do. Personally, I think Docmo didn't mean it. She was just quoting that phrase which IT made on the different thread. And I think it is briliant because the situation asked for it. A poor woman is distressed it is our duty to lighten up her load and definitely that cliche helps. So please relaks ka lang.

[docomo]

Doc, you had the most saddest and sorriest experience with men ? my heart bleeds for you . ...

Really? you know exactly what my relationship is like based on a paragraph? impressive!!!

My life is really none of your concern. I posted a comment and I'll stand by it. That is my own personal opinion and I'm not trying to influence the other members here.

If you can't stomach it, that's too bad. I don't waste my time nitpicking on your posts... and if and when I react or quote other posters, I see to it that I do without having to resort to insinuations on their personal lives.. and most importantly, with utmost respect.

Now if you can't afford to do the same with TF members, I suggest you clam up.

I don't know you and I have no intention to do so.... so you do not have the right to ask or insinuate anything about my personal life or other members here for that matter.

Good day fellow!

[joeblack]

@ Mod Docomo san, you are right! Nobody will interfere your personal life for all of us have a Right to Privacy.... Go on and keep up the good work.... Bring home the bacon, if possible!!!!Really? you know exactly what my relationship is like based on a paragraph? impressive!!!

My life is really none of your concern. I posted a comment and I'll stand by it. That is my own personal opinion and I'm not trying to influence the other members here.

If you can't stomach it, that's too bad. I don't waste my time nitpicking on your posts... and if and when I react or quote other posters, I see to it that I do without having to resort to insinuations on their personal lives.. and most importantly, with utmost respect.

Now if you can't afford to do the same with TF members, I suggest you clam up.

I don't know you and I have no intention to do so.... so you do not have the right to ask or insinuate anything about my personal life or other members here for that matter.

Good day fellow!

[meteor]

a year over now ....meaning 1 year being married. If you can't deal then drop it like a hot potato...deja vu!!!..why because u can't deal it anymore, a simple as that. Your just dealing with the same problem only in a diff. Category,Level, and Personality .wala kapa sa kalagitnaan ng pag-aasawa.... (marriage life, wife life, or what ever we call it !) taon pa lang kayo pero soon to be maloloka at confused kana. What if kaya kung umabot kayo ng isang pang taon, di kaya aplikante kana para pumasok sa mental hospital? Normal lang minsan na maconfused tayo; pero ang di normal ay yung hindi ka totoo sa sarili mo. bakit dimo kaya tanungin ang sarili mo Am I Ready to be a Wife? pag nasagot mo ito alam muna ang solution ng problema mo.got my 3years extension (thanks GOD!consuelo na siguro sa mga kunsumisyon

Is this what you after for, next pr. ? kung yan ipagpatuloy mo ang kunsumisyon na yan sa buhay mo, magandang consuelo yan.
ngayon,ang problem ko is,ano na ba ang gagawin ko,balak ko sana bumalik dun sa province na pinagtrabahuhan ko as talent before,libre pabahay,makakaipon ako,or kahit magrent ako,parang mas gusto ko pa lumayo.

Ito ba ang paraan na naisip mo? ito kaagad ang pumasok sa isip mo?o matagal ng nasa isip mo ito? ikaw lang ang makakasagot sa tanong mo na yan.

ive done almost all the strategies to make it work,pero wala,ako lang naman ang nageexert ng effort.Naiisip ko im just wasting my time,im still young and theres still a lot instore for me,kesa naman sayangin ko at magtiis dito,wala naman magandang nangyayari,kung kayo kaya,ano gagawin nyo,im so confused and soon to be maloka. i had to make up my mind a.s.a.p. i need your advice,whats the best thing to do?.
you've done with that by using strategies.... why use strategies instead of using Courage. You Didn’t Do Anything. who said your young? kung young ka bakit nag asawa ka? you said your love your husband .....do you?
it seem's you dont need advices... all you want is sympathy and you got it... Seeking advice essentially shows your willingness to broaden horizons of your thinking ... then my piece of advice to you ...know yourself first. Marriage is not a Destiny ...its a Journey to Face .., that Happiness is a choices,not a results.

[puting tainga]

Only a few members are replying the way this thread is supposed to be replied.

The question was: ano ang gagawin mo kung nasa situation kang ganito?

Well, if I were in your shoes.....

I will pray.
I will pray that he will repent.
That he will become a good husband.
That give me strength to forgive him.
That keep me out of trouble.
That dear God please punish him.....:D

[la_tina512]

Where there is life there is hope especially if you're a God-fearing woman. One year pa lang in your marriage and you can't stand it anymore? Do you think if you pack your bags and leave it won't happen again the next time? Sabi mo you're still young. Do you think if you leave your husband now, go to work at night where there are wolves in men's clothings, then makakita ka uli ng guy that you'll fall in love with, do you think the situation you're in now won't happen again, ever, in the future? Think about it.

I've been living with my husband for 13 years now. Grabe rin dinaanan ko but I persevere. Sabi kasi nila there's this 7-year-itch sa married life which means you have to endure the first 7 years. Pero I'm wrong. Sabi nga ng isang ka-TF marriage is a lifetime adjustment. Fortunate for me hindi nananakit asawa ko. But I have to live with his panliliit sa akin. Don ko sya nilalabanan in a way na hindi mawawala respect ko sa kanya and respect nya sa akin. He even accused me one time of mukhang pera (okane bakari) so sinagot ko sya ng "nande, okane aru no?"

If you can't face your problem now and learn at puro hinagpis at self-pity ang mangyayari sa 'yo you'll never overcome it. Asawa mo 'yan, kailangang mag-submit. Hindi ka naman yata binubugbog... patayin mo sa kabutihan ang taong gumagawa ng hindi maganda sa 'yo. Regarding your mga biyenan kahit saan ka pumunta pare-pareho ang mga biyenan. Wala pa akong nakitang mabuting manugang sa biyenan or vice-versa. Instead of sulking in one corner why not think of ways how to win your in-laws? Win them kasi sa huli sila ang magiging kakampi mo. Ganon ang ginawa ng kaibigan ko and look at her now. Biyenan nya ang umaaway sa hubby nya pag may maling ginawa. Binibigyan pa sya ng pera kasi hindi nagbibigay hubby nya. See? IF THERE'S A WILL THERE'S A WAY... Not unless na gusto mo na talagang makipaghiwalay sa hubby mo... Ikaw pa rin ang magde-decide...

One last piece of advice, take it or leave it... PRAY... and be patient for God's answer in your prayer. Walang ibang makakatulong sa 'yo kundi si God. With God nothing is impossible as long as you have the faith. My faith had kept me sane and strong living in Japan...

[la_tina512]

Only a few members are replying the way this thread is supposed to be replied.

The question was: ano ang gagawin mo kung nasa situation kang ganito?

Well, if I were in your shoes.....

I will pray.
I will pray that he will repent.
That he will become a good husband.
That give me strength to forgive him.
That keep me out of trouble.
That dear God please punish him.....:D

"That dear God please punish him"..Bad yan kapatid... wrong motive in prayer hindi sasagutin ng God... (James 4:3) Let's pray na lang for her husband na bumait, magkaron ng work para mawala ang stress at higit sa lahat mahalin pa to the max si YAN so they will have a very smooth relationship kasama ng mga biyenan nya...

[puting tainga]

Hi, la_tina512, :)

It was meant to be a joke, but it was half serious.

The important thing is that she must not resort to violence.
It happens a lot, and some are fatal, as you read the news.

I don't want her to do something like that.
Instead, I want her to pray.
Though talking to her husband about complicated issues in Japanese may be still difficult for her, she can easily speak (or rather, cry out, or shout) to the Lord in her mother tongue. (tagalog?)
And I'm pretty much sure she'll feel better a lot, though God may not answer her prayer right on the spot.

Nakasulat sa Romans 12:19-21"Mga minamahal, huwag kayong maghiganti, ipaubaya ninyo iyon sa Diyos. Sapagkat nakasulat; akin ang paghihiganti, ako ang gaganti, sabi ng Panginoon."

But asking for God's punishment is not prohibited in the Bible.
We forgive, knowing that the wicked will face the perpetual punishment in hell unless he repents.

Sabi ni David sa awit 139:19 "Ang hangad ko, Panginoo'y patayin mo ang masama, at ang mga mararahas ay iwanan akong kusa."

Nakasulat sa 2 Hari 3: 23-25 when sinumpa ni Elias sa pangalan ni Yahweh, lumabas ang dalalwang oso at nilapa ang apatnapu't dalawa sa mga batang lumilibak sa kaniya.

PS
If she can pray in Japanese, her husband can know what she is praying.
It works well occasionally.

But he might say, （this is a true story)
このヤロー、お前は、神様に祈っているフリ しながら、オレに文句言っているんじゃない かよ！
"kono yaro, omae wa kamisama ni inotteiru huri shingara, ore ni monku itteirunja naika yo":D

[Tarena314]

Ang maipapayo ko lang sayo@YAN..,habaan (sayo@YAN..,habaan) mo pa ang yong pagtitiis..,Maging matatag ka sa kikaharap mong problema..,Lahat ng problema ay may kalutasan :(

[love0308]

Agree ako sa sinabi ni Autumn san! Sayang ang panahon total ayaw naman niya ng maayos na usapan di ba! Kaya nga sinabi na fufu para pagsaluhan at pagusapan ang problem pero kung ganyan na ayaw niyang maki cooperate para ano pa at tinawag kayong mag asawa:) just my opinion!

[geo2k7]

Pero di po ba delikado na maghiwalay sila? Kahit na nakuha nya na 3 year visa nya pagnagdivorce sila ng asawa nyang hapon magiging invalid ung visa and padeport si Ms. Yan sa pinas?