Is the notion real??

[docomo]

Would there be less divorce and marital unhappiness if we didn't have an idealized notion of love and romance?? Is the notion real ? :)

[gabby]

Would there be less divorce and marital unhappiness if we didn't have an idealized notion of love and romance?? Is the notion real ? :)


Why? What was your ideal love? ;)

[docomo]

Why? What was your ideal love? ;)

... This could be a big deal , right? .. ( paguusapan nga eh , tanungin ba ko ?? ) :p

[gabby]

... This could be a big deal , right? .. ( paguusapan nga eh , tanungin ba ko ?? ) :p

LOL:p You are forever defensive! You are always on guard. why?:)

[docomo]

LOL:p You are forever defensive! You are always on guard. why?:)


.... I knew you would say that silly :p

Here...

I would suspect that there are mixtures of all types of idealized notion .. I, for one,idealize both on some respects.. I have a fantasy of how my "true love" will make me feel and what we will do.... ( satisfied gabby?);)


.. Sometimes we grow up with the idealized notion , and then get into a relationship and discover things aren't so easy . Because love isn't happily ever after- a relationship isn't all romance, it's something the couple has to constantly keep up, through fights disagreements-it's anything but easy... But people are looking for that perfect relationship.. because of this a lot of people end up unsatisfied ...:)

[gabby]

.... I knew you would say that silly :p

Here...

I would suspect that there are mixtures of all types of idealized notion .. I, for one,idealize both on some respects.. I have a fantasy of how my "true love" will make me feel and what we will do.... ( satisfied gabby?);)


.. Sometimes we grow up with the idealized notion , and then get into a relationship and discover things aren't so easy . Because love isn't happily ever after- a relationship isn't all romance, it's something the couple has to constantly keep up, through fights disagreements-it's anything but easy... But people are looking for that perfect relationship.. because of this a lot of people end up unsatisfied ...:)

Nice going Docs! I agree.
When it comes to love, I think your ideal love changes as you experience it and as you grow older. My ideal love is almost non-existence. When I was younger, primarily I like my lover to be like robot but I got disappointed because those kind of women are basically not good in bed. But when I found women who are good in bed almost all of them are bitches, they are very strong and independent. So my ideal love morphs into compatibility and harmony. Peppered with the fact that we are two heads trying to be one, that we must response to each other's physical and emotional needs. The absence of it is living like hell. Great Happiness hinges on your harmonious relationship with those you love and to your immediate environment.

Cheers!

[houseboy]

Would there be less divorce and marital unhappiness if we didn't have an idealized notion of love and romance?? Is the notion real ? :)

People are not looking for what is ideal, they are looking for their "preferred" love. "Ideal love" is just a mask. What's inside this mask is a "want", they want everything to turn out just the way they like it. Is the notion real? Partly real.




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P.S.

Dear Docomo,

Pasensya ka na at nasali ako sa seryosong usapan. Nakita ko lang kasi sa net ang pangalang Freud at nagkataon na umutot ang utak ko.

Ang iyong kaibigan na naghihintay sa pakain mo,
Houseboy

[docomo]

People are not looking for what is ideal, they are looking for their "preferred" love. "Ideal love" is just a mask. What's inside this mask is a "want", they want everything to turn out just the way they like it. Is the notion real? Partly real.




------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S.

Dear Docomo,

Pasensya ka na at nasali ako sa seryosong usapan. Nakita ko lang kasi sa net ang pangalang Freud at nagkataon na umutot ang utak ko.

Ang iyong kaibigan na naghihintay sa pakain mo,
Houseboy

.. That quote is probably true ... I think it's very important to realize what a person wants out of a relationship, particularly ones as important as romantic relationship.. If a relationship isn't offering you want to you want, or need, to be happy, then it's unhealthy ..

( house boy , kakaiba ka talaga sa lahat ng kakaiba :) )

[gabby]

.. That quote is probably true ... I think it's very important to realize what a person wants out of a relationship, particularly ones as important as romantic relationship.. If a relationship isn't offering you want to you want, or need, to be happy, then it's unhealthy ..

( house boy , kakaiba ka talaga sa lahat ng kakaiba :) )

Yeah I agree! He is really different. He is full of wits. Isn't he?:)

Happy new year Houseboy!!!

[infinite_trial]

subsconsciously, we have this criteria that we expect our partners to possess. we expect our partners to be what we want em to be, rather than accept em for what they are. an "ideal" relationship is almost surreal, fairytale-like. some people are blinded by this and keep lookin for the "ideal" relationship when the truth is, the "ideal" person that they are lookin for is right in front of em.

ive also seen this quote somewhere
“There really isn't an ideal relationship, its how you deal with the imperfections of the relationship that makes it ideal.”

[gabby]

subsconsciously, we have this criteria that we expect our partners to possess. we expect our partners to be what we want em to be, rather than accept em for what they are. an "ideal" relationship is almost surreal, fairytale-like. some people are blinded by this and keep lookin for the "ideal" relationship when the truth is, the "ideal" person that they are lookin for is right in front of em.

ive also seen this quote somewhere
“There really isn't an ideal relationship, its how you deal with the imperfections of the relationship that makes it ideal.”

Sounds great. I haven't read it, just now actually, and I am glad that I settled in snuggly where I should be. But does it means that I am on the right track? Can you spare some words of wisdom Infinite Trial. Happy new year dear! How are you? How did you spend your new year?

[puting tainga]

>There really isn't an ideal relationship, it's how you deal with the imperfections of the relationship that makes it ideal.

Tamang tama.
Salamat sa salita na ito.:)

[Ayara]

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not twist them with our own image -- otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."

Often, without conscious knowledge, we establish a certain criteria that we expect our partners to have. We not only desire, but expect our lovers and marriage partners to think, feel, and act as we do.

[infinite_trial]

wow ginawa pa kong Dr. Phil ni gabby hehehe. thanks po sa pagbati! happy new yr din. i spent mine well. toured my friends here in yokohama and very very happy to have a nice headstart this year. hihi...im soooo in loveee :D

[docomo]

.. Some people place all their happiness in a relationship , instead of becoming emotionally stable with themselves first.. If people were happy on their own, they would be better partners.. My point is we can't place our happiness in the hands of anyone but ourselves...:)

[infinite_trial]

^^ correct!

that's because some people become too emotioally dependent on their partner. when the relationship fails, they find it hard to move on and later on regret that they have become a different person.

[Little Johnny]

.. If people were happy on their own, they would be better partners.. My point is we can't place our happiness in the hands of anyone but ourselves...:)

If people were happy on their own, would they need a partner in the first place?

And isn't hapiness doubled when shared with someone?

Having the notion of an ideal relationship should be viewed as a healthy excercise.... with this, we keep trying to be our better selves, we learn to rise after each time we fall, we learn to overcome every trial that comes our way.

I know this isn't an ideal world, that twists and turns come every once in a while. But I think this is life's way of teaching us that we should not stop loving until both ends meet.

my two cents:)

[gabby]

wow ginawa pa kong Dr. Phil ni gabby hehehe. thanks po sa pagbati! happy new yr din. i spent mine well. toured my friends here in yokohama and very very happy to have a nice headstart this year. hihi...im soooo in loveee :D

At least ha. May shade of music na iyong posting mo. Keep it up. You need it as your strength for your research. :)

[gabby]

If people were happy on their own, would they need a partner in the first place?

And isn't hapiness doubled when shared with someone?

Having the notion of an ideal relationship should be viewed as a healthy excercise.... with this, we keep trying to be our better selves, we learn to rise after each time we fall, we learn to overcome every trial that comes our way.

I know this isn't an ideal world, that twists and turns come every once in a while. But I think this is life's way of teaching us that we should not stop loving until both ends meet.

my two cents:)

Pareng LJ tinutukoy ni Pareng Docomo ay iyong mga ASEXUALS!:p

[gabby]

^^ correct!

that's because some people become too emotioally dependent on their partner. when the relationship fails, they find it hard to move on and later on regret that they have become a different person.

. . . and most of these people are Filipinos and Filipinas right?:p

[infinite_trial]

^^ hindi ko alam ang sagot kasi never pa ko nagkabf ng foreigner hehehe.