Financial Problem Concerning In-Laws

[piNkAhOLiC]

Hubby is giving me his atm card pero sabay namin wini-withdraw ang laman nun. We constantly go out on a weekend after every payday. So feeling ng SIL (Sister In Law) ko, madami daw kaming pera. Plus the fact na most of my family is in other countries, di siya naniniwala na wala kaming pera dahil cool na cool nga naman kami. :rolleyes: Di niya alam na kinakapos din kami...

Naiinis ako kasi she keep on bugging my hubby about money matters. She keeps on asking money secretly. Syempre di makapagbigay si hubby dahil nasa akin nga ang pera, at budgeted na. Hindi na namin sinasama ang pagbibigay sa sis nya kasi may nakukuha naman siya allowance from my mother in law. So for us, there's no urgent need to give money.

Kanina kinausap niya ako. Sabi niya sakin " Kelan daw ba kami ni hubby magbibigay ng financial support sa kanila, dahil kahit papaano umaasa rin daw yung in-laws ko sa amin, hindi lang nila sinasabi." - NATAHIMIK AKO! :eek:

I was brought up by a mother who doesnt believe children have the obligation to give to their parents. Rather she always believed that parents should continue providing for their children as long as they can. As my mom would always say, she would never be a burden to her children, and she wished her children will not also be burdens to their own children. After all, children are gifts from God, and you never make money out of gifts, right? :D

Im not being mean. Pero I dont think we're obliged to provide, especially that my inlaws has their own source of income. And wala naman silang pinagkaka-gastusan...

Kelangan ba talaga bigyan namin sila ng allowance? Honestly, sakto lang yung money namin mag-asawa ngayon, and we can't afford to give them allowance na. And siyempre nagi-ipon rin naman kami...

[amy_neri]

Im not being mean. Pero I dont think we're obliged to provide, especially that my inlaws has their own source of income. And wala naman silang pinagkaka-gastusan...

Kelangan ba talaga bigyan namin sila ng allowance? Honestly, sakto lang yung money namin mag-asawa ngayon, and we can't afford to give them allowance na. And siyempre nagi-ipon rin naman kami...

Ako naniniwala ako na once ang lalaki magpakasal na, ang kanyang magiging main responsibility ay yung kanyang sariling pamilya na. Secondary concern na lang yung mga magulang. Since sa situation mo sabi mo may sarili naman silang source of income, walang mabigat na dahilan para bigyan nyo sila ng allowance. Kung talagang walang-wala naman sila, di ba, ang mga anak naman usually hindi matitiis ang mga magulang. Isa pa, paano ka naman makapagbibigay kung wala ka naman ibibigay di ba? Since sa ngayon enough lang ang kung anong meron kayo sa pangangailangan nyo, di kailangan magbigay. Sana maintindihan nila yun. Talaga sa tingin ko, wala naman mabigat na dahilan para humingi sila at bigyan nyo sila.

[Dkid]

Go on with your own family.
You are in no way endebted nor it is your responsibility to support "them". Kahit somobra yung income nyong magasawa, better save it for the future. Nobody knows what lies ahead. Most of the time it is worst, especially pag kinapos ang datung!

It could have been otherwise if you are earning more than you can spend.
Just try to avoid being confrontational and extravagant, in-laws are your family too.

[depp]

may kasabihan nga na kapag sobra-sobra ang pera ay mag-share ka sa nangangailangan.
pero kung sa situation nyo na sapat lang at sa sitwasyon ng in-laws mo na me sariling income e di ka naman kailangan pang magbigay o mag-abot sa kanila.
o baka naman salita lang o sulsol ng sister in law mo yan dahil alam nga na ang pamilya mo ay halos nasa ibang bansa.naiisip siguro nya na tumatanggap ka rin ng pera sa family mo kaya umaandar sa utak nya na marami kang pera.
magandang gawin mo ay kausapin nyo ng hubby mo ang in-laws mo para mapaliwanag mo ang sitwasyon nyo sa pera.
isa pa,sabi mo na kailangan nyo ring mag-ipon di ba?syempre para sa future nyo at ng magiging anak nyo.

wala kayong obligasyon na bigyan sila ng allowance:)

[akiam]

ang tumulong sa kanila ay okay lang kapag medyo maluwag kayo pero kung as in ino-obliga kayo, ay! ibang usapan na yan...

[Hungry eyes]

bakit nga ba may mga ganyang klase ng tao hindi naman mga disabled..sabi nga nila malakas pa sa kalabaw.,walang kahihiyan..at walang isip..subukan mong magbigay ng isang beses ..huhubaran ka nyan..hindi na titigil sa kahihingi ..hindi masama tumulong.pero dun lang sa talagang nangangailangan..at hindi sa mga mapaghinala at mapagsamantalang ingitera..

[mizo_shiru]

Yeah, you don't need to give them allowance and sa case mo ngayon, mas kailangan nyo ang pera kesa sa kanila. Hindi naman tama na hihingian kayo out of responsibility (if it's what they think). It's not your responsibility, you're married and you have a family to take care of. Think of them first, in the end it's your own family that matters. Do what you think you believe is right.


Kung gusto mo naman magbigay ng "kimochi"(gratitude) sa kanila, there's a always a right time for that.


Cheers...:)

[docomo]

..it wouldn't hurt to share once in a while (special occassions but most important ,budget permitting). having said that, you are in no way required to provide for your in-laws financial needs .kasi the thing is , once you start giving,it'll stick to their minds that you are obligated to do so. if and when they ask and you can't give anything that's when the trouble starts .they'll either brand you as a cheapstake(kuripot), greedy(maramot/swapang) or worse ..ingrates (walang utang na loob) .

some parents have this mindset na even if you already have a family of your own, you should give them doleouts. it's an implied thingy. i've heard this line that 'pina-aral kayo, pina-laki kayo tapos konting pera lang hindi nyo kami mabigyan' words like that. parents are supposed to invest in their children's future because it is their duty as responsible parents .but not invest in them so they can have milking cows when they're old and gray .

share when you can , but don't make it your obligation .

hope my rambling made some sense to you :)