Married but lost the nightlife

[Reina 6717]

Hi to every one, for those who are married to a japanese person , i would like to ask if even in long years of married life , do you still enjoy your nightlife in bed?

Im married to a japanese person for 5 yrs. ago but we lost our nightlife in bed :( hindi pa naman kami matanda to stop doing it coz where in our 30s and 40s pa,kahit niyaya ko ang hubby ko he, just tell me that hes tired and not feeling to do it raw. Wala namang bisyo sya sa babae coz after work ay uuwi kaagad sa bahay and watching tv and go to sleep, i can feel that he loves me but , the nightlife is out of it. Sometimes im thinking crazy to find a lover to provide the thing i want just to enjoy my sexlife ,but not thinking of breaking up to my hubby coz i still love him .
I want to know some of those who have experience like me and how they solve their problem about this situation.Please give me some advice.

[fisher]

Hi to every one, for those who are married to a japanese person , i would like to ask if even in long years of married life , do you still enjoy your nightlife in bed?

Im married to a japanese person for 5 yrs. ago but we lost our nightlife in bed :( hindi pa naman kami matanda to stop doing it coz where in our 30s and 40s pa,kahit niyaya ko ang hubby ko he, just tell me that hes tired and not feeling to do it raw. Wala namang bisyo sya sa babae coz after work ay uuwi kaagad sa bahay and watching tv and go to sleep, i can feel that he loves me but , the nightlife is out of it. Sometimes im thinking crazy to find a lover to provide the thing i want just to enjoy my sexlife ,but not thinking of breaking up to my hubby coz i still love him .
I want to know some of those who have experience like me and how they solve their problem about this situation.Please give me some advice.
Wait,and someone will come along ...........:) .Perhaps many of them :D .

[3rdy]

Nightlife? Puede naman yang gawin anomang oras hehehehehehehe :D
Seriosly now, mayroon na yatang thread na related nito..click this. (http://www.timog.com/forum/showthread.php?t=273 4) enjoy reading!

[jakolite]

Reina,

Naririnig ko rin sa mga ibang mga kasama ko na asawa ay Hapon/Haponesa. I don't know kung inherent sa kultura nila pero d lang talaga mahilig sa sex. Usually, yung mga Haponesa in 30's or 40's doon naghahanap kasi mga asawa nilang Hapon ay ayaw. I have proven stories na marami sa kanila ay naghahanap sa labas. I'm not saying na maganda ito or suportado ako rito pero it happens. Reina, ethically ang mapapayo ko sa iyo ay wag magloko pero on the other hand if you don't see your situation improving at kailangan mo talaga ng "nightlife"....be discrete to not affect your marriage and your family life. The decision is yours to make. Good luck!

[v_wrangler]

Reina,

Naririnig ko rin sa mga ibang mga kasama ko na asawa ay Hapon/Haponesa. I don't know kung inherent sa kultura nila pero d lang talaga mahilig sa sex. Usually, yung mga Haponesa in 30's or 40's doon naghahanap kasi mga asawa nilang Hapon ay ayaw. I have proven stories na marami sa kanila ay naghahanap sa labas. I'm not saying na maganda ito or suportado ako rito pero it happens. Reina, ethically ang mapapayo ko sa iyo ay wag magloko pero on the other hand if you don't see your situation improving at kailangan mo talaga ng "nightlife"....be discrete to not affect your marriage and your family life. The decision is yours to make. Good luck!

I have no intention of being the preacher but it isn't something that hits the ethical senses. What one would do is indeed a moral question. The reason for such loss of interest in the sex act is more or less a hormonal problem. This is more evident among women who as they get more mature and busier - tend to lose the drive (not that the they lose interest in their partners) but as the body age - they find extra-curricular activites more appealing... like sleeping for example (don't laugh I asked around). I think its also about conditioning, stress or the fear of not being able to keep up. Discuss the problem with the partner - and let him know what you feel.

Nice name btw, jakolites.

[jakolite]

v_wrangler, the name came from an old bad bananas skit. I don't know if you remember (or whether you were even born then) when "Whitney Tyson and the Jakolites" came out but noong inosente pa ako I just like hearing the word "jakolite"...so it stuck. When I hit puberty, doon ko na nalaman pero to late na. Your name...v_wrangler... parang ka-panahon ko na rin yon so I can assume na almost ka-edad tayo which would be late-20's early 30's - plus tax? (he he). Anyway this is neither here nor there.

Agree ako hormonal sya. I think studies have shown that a woman's sexual peak is in her 30's to 40's (depending on the study) while a man's is 18 to somewhere in his 20's. Maraming factors play into this such as physical conditioning, stress, sexual knowledge and yes even VIAGRA. Pero I think we can all agree that we are sexual beings. The need may be overwhelming, but the outlet may not be as forgiving. Just a thought...

[DJchot]

di ka nagiisa reina. dami talagang may ganyang problema.

try mo ring basahin ito http://www.timog.com/forum/showthread.php?t=146&page=3


subukan mo muna yung item E na binanggit dyan sa link sa taas bago yung binabalak mong paghahanap ng lover...di ako sang-ayon diyan sa binabalak mo e (ako po ito :D walang halong kaplastikan wehehe).

goodluck! ;)

[docomo]

@Reina 6717

not to be judgemental or anything , pero instead of entertaining a thought of looking for the solution outside of the relationship ( a lover) , why not try to address the issues internally . mahirap ng makakita ng tutuong magmamahal sa yo .. baka makakita ka nga pero baka gamitin ka lang .. . . sayang yung i~invest mong pagmamahal sa wala lang pag nagkataon .. be careful :)

[Reina 6717]

Hellow to all,fisher,3rdy,jako lite,v wrangler,DJchot,Doco mo,

Youre all good adviser and i really thank you for all your advise and hope that i can solve this problem of mine and now i know that im not alone that have problem about this. Im very relief talaga just reading all your advises and read the other site that have same topics.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND GOODLUCK TO ALL OF YOU !!!!:wavey: :wavey: :wavey: and nice to have you all here to help everyone MABUHAY !!!!!!!!:dowave: :dowave:

[jakolite]

Reina,

Please tell us updated sa mga nangyayari sa iyo dito. If you need a hand, there are a lot who are willing to help.

[Chibi]

Hi to every one, for those who are married to a japanese person , i would like to ask if even in long years of married life , do you still enjoy your nightlife in bed?

Im married to a japanese person for 5 yrs. ago but we lost our nightlife in bed :( hindi pa naman kami matanda to stop doing it coz where in our 30s and 40s pa,kahit niyaya ko ang hubby ko he, just tell me that hes tired and not feeling to do it raw. Wala namang bisyo sya sa babae coz after work ay uuwi kaagad sa bahay and watching tv and go to sleep, i can feel that he loves me but , the nightlife is out of it. Sometimes im thinking crazy to find a lover to provide the thing i want just to enjoy my sexlife ,but not thinking of breaking up to my hubby coz i still love him .
I want to know some of those who have experience like me and how they solve their problem about this situation.Please give me some advice.
Hindi ka nag iisa kapatid!!!marami jyan!!ako rin kaya???:eek: satisfied na ko sa situation ko,i know kelangan naten yun....sana maiwasan lang naten ang temptation.mahirap kase ma involved sa iba ...saket lang sa ulo yan!!!basta ako hangga't faithful naman saken hubby ko, oks na saken yun...maraming toys jyen!!hahhahhahha!!j owk!:D

[fisher]

Hindi ka nag iisa kapatid!!!marami jyan!!ako rin kaya???:eek: satisfied na ko sa situation ko,i know kelangan naten yun....sana maiwasan lang naten ang temptation.mahirap kase ma involved sa iba ...saket lang sa ulo yan!!!basta ako hangga't faithful naman saken hubby ko, oks na saken yun...maraming toys jyen!!hahhahhahha!!j owk!:DChibi,ipamahag i mo naman iyang mga toys mo hi,hi,hi,hi,hi:D .Puro large size ba?Ay naku madodokleng ka diyan iha!:nuts: :nuts: :nuts: .

[DJchot]

Hindi ka nag iisa kapatid!!!marami jyan!!ako rin kaya???:eek: satisfied na ko sa situation ko,i know kelangan naten yun....sana maiwasan lang naten ang temptation.mahirap kase ma involved sa iba ...saket lang sa ulo yan!!!basta ako hangga't faithful naman saken hubby ko, oks na saken yun...maraming toys jyen!!hahhahhahha!!j owk!:D

bakit kaya di ka na sinisipingan chibi bakla? baka insecure sa toys mo? hehe :D

@reina, keep us posted ha? ;)

[constance_ph]

hello Regina...tell you, i experienced all that for at least 3 months.in the beginning i thought maybe its normal because we are both adjusting with each other..so i ddnt say anything to my hubby, eventhough i was kind of upset..

by the way im newly wed (1 & 1/2 yr), i first came to japan last sept.2005. i quit my job i manila and chose to live in japan...and to my surprise, my husband ddnt try to to do it, or even to caress me...i was furious...and again i ddnt say anything..

then i feel depressed...i feel im not beautiful..honestly, im not boasting, but im tall, fair skin, 34 (breast size), i mean well proportioned body..but i feel that im not beautiful enough to get my husbands attention...

then one night i just cried...my husband was surprised..and then i told him everything..how i feel, my desires, and other things...then he apologized...he said gomen nasai, i thought you dont want it".. then we made passionate love..that was great..and till now, pls dnt get jealous we have like 4x a week ...:D ... i told my hubby that no matter how tired we are, we should always have time for each other...so try to seduce your hubby..be beautiful,be sexy and try to give him sensual massage..good luck!

[wes]

hmmm.. i think it is already on their culture.... hmm..... sa tingin ko kasi.. sa teenage (or lower or higher:) ) life pa lang nila... sawa na sila sa sinasabing mong ginawagawa during nightlife.........ka ya pag dating nila ng mga 30 or 40s diyan pa lang sila gustong magasawa...dont know the reason pero. maraming reason behind that.... niway nde ko alam kung tama to or mali.. pero.. ito lang cguro ang masasabi ko for now....cguro.. hmm.. nde kaya wrong timing lang... or baka pagod lang talaga siya... hmm.. i think best way to solve your problem... is talk to your husband about it.....dont be paranoid...yun lang po...

good luck...and (exert more power) to your nightlife..... :)

[Reina 6717]

To All ,

I really want to thank you all for your advices and i think i have ways ro solve my problems is to get busy with my works na lang :) Coz I know that Im not the only one who have problems like me . And just join the lonely groups na lang:D
Really hindi ko na masyadong iniisip coz , if im thinking of it i getttt crazy :bonk: :bonk: :bonk: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: BUT REALLY THANK YOU VERY MUCH TOO ALL!!!!

[jakolite]

Good luck na lang!

[chris_rock]

To All ,

I really want to thank you all for your advices and i think i have ways ro solve my problems is to get busy with my works na lang :) Coz I know that Im not the only one who have problems like me . And just join the lonely groups na lang:D
Really hindi ko na masyadong iniisip coz , if im thinking of it i getttt crazy :bonk: :bonk: :bonk: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: BUT REALLY THANK YOU VERY MUCH TOO ALL!!!!

never give up. always find a way to stoke the fires of passion in your relationship. try not to sweep the issue under the rug and pretend that everything's ok with the marriage. because in your heart, you know that something is amiss.

creativity is the name of the game. :)

[Autumn]

Yes you are right , keeping busy is the best way.ganyan din ginawa ko at ginagawa mag pa hanggang ngayon, kasi lahat na ginawa ko pero ganoon pa rin .
iisa lang kasi ang sagot ~~ hindi na nya ako tinitignan as a woman ,human, but only a mother of his children,im just 36 years old now and we lost our night life 14 years now can you imagine that ?:eek: pero ok lang sanay na ako,nakakatuwa nga eh para na lang kaming magkaibigan:rolleyes :

[midnight]

hindi ka nagiisa Reina..ako rin problema ko yan kasi hindi pa naman ako matanda at asawa ko ay bata pa din pero lagi syang pagod sa trabaho at kung uuwi sa bahay ang unang gagawin nyan ay maligo tapos kumain then konting nood tv habang kumakain at umiinom ng beer then tulog na sya:( ...Maaga din sya kung umalis ng bahay kaya kailangan nya daw ng tulog talaga.

Wala na kaming time sa ganon at minsan nagiisip din ako ng sex .Kangina nga lang habang nasa ofuro ako eh naisip ko na naman. Ang ginawa ko lumabas ako ng bahay at nagpunta sa gym then rent ng dvd . Alam ko hindi maganda pero minsan naiisip ko iyong mga dati kong sexcapades or old flames ko. Minsan na rin akong nagcheat sa asawa ko pero sa bandang huli sa kanya pa rin ako bumabalik. Mabait asawa ko at very responsible.Nakakagu ilty talaga ang manloko ng asawa lalo nat wala namang pinapakitang masama sa yo.Ang problema lang ay workaholic at pagod talaga. Parang mas kailangan nila ang tulog kesa Sex.

Minsan nga naiisip ko ..parang sayang naman energy ko kasi active talaga ako sa Sex before.Iyong mga dati kong bf ay very happy talaga sa intimate moments namin noon. Pero ngayon lantang gulay ako:D :D :D .Ganito ba talaga pag may asawa na ??? 5 yrs. na rin akong kasal at wala pa pong anak. Iniisip ko nga,,eh panong magkakaanak eh hindi naman kami naggaganon ???:rolleyes: Naisip ko na lang ..hay ! kung walang anak eh di wala. May anak na rin kasi sya sa dati nyang asawa...

Nakakatawa mang aminin or nakakahiya isa ako at marami sa mga kakilala ko ang may Vibr!toR ..para pag di na talaga kaya eh ..yon na yon:D ..Nakakahiya man sabihin dito pero shoganai ka na ??? Tao lang din kasi tayo na may pangangailangan.

HAy buhay !

[DJchot]

Nakakatawa mang aminin or nakakahiya isa ako at marami sa mga kakilala ko ang may Vibr!toR ..para pag di na talaga kaya eh ..yon na yon:D ..Nakakahiya man sabihin dito pero shoganai ka na ??? Tao lang din kasi tayo na may pangangailangan.

HAy buhay !

ako rin....meron! :D

who else?

[Mustang]

Pwede bang mag apply as "LOVER"...where do I send my resume? :)

[DJchot]

Pwede bang mag apply as "LOVER"...where do I send my resume? :)

hehe. ayus :)

may nabasa ako sa news, dunno if it is true. may group of men daw sa tokyo na ang trabaho ay taga dilig lang. very professional sila. walang ibang gagawin kundi dilgan ang mga nalalantang gulay. di pala trabaho to...voluntary act pala. of course, bawal ang relasyon dito.

[jakolite]

how do you survive?

[jakolite]

DJ totoo yan. actually na dyaryo yan. its more of matchmaking. yung mga haponesa na "nangangailangan" ay nagaagree na makipagkita sa mga professional men at mag "date"...sex optional. ang nakakatuwa rito...it is strictly business pleasure. they split the food bill, the motel bill etc. no strings attached! yun nga the business that runs this, talagang skini-screen yung mga aplikante.

[carding]

Hi to every one, for those who are married to a japanese person , i would like to ask if even in long years of married life , do you still enjoy your nightlife in bed?

Im married to a japanese person for 5 yrs. ago but we lost our nightlife in bed :( hindi pa naman kami matanda to stop doing it coz where in our 30s and 40s pa,kahit niyaya ko ang hubby ko he, just tell me that hes tired and not feeling to do it raw. Wala namang bisyo sya sa babae coz after work ay uuwi kaagad sa bahay and watching tv and go to sleep, i can feel that he loves me but , the nightlife is out of it. Sometimes im thinking crazy to find a lover to provide the thing i want just to enjoy my sexlife ,but not thinking of breaking up to my hubby coz i still love him .
I want to know some of those who have experience like me and how they solve their problem about this situation.Please give me some advice.


hi im carding, do you think thats the best solution you can hav.i dont think so....but the way i see you r badly in need of sex life but i think u and ur hubby should talk about it privately and determine if is really a problem about ur relationship.hope to here from u?

[amazona]

reina pareho tayo diyan 5 years na rin akong kasal sa hapon pero ang baligtad eh ako ang natanggi.kapag siya ang nagyaya.mula ng akoy manganak sa bunso ko.nawalan na ko ng gana sa bed.ewan ko kung bakit.siguro sobrang pagod sa buong mag hapon pag aalaga ng bata pag aasikaso sa kanilang lahat tapos may work ako sa umaga.minsan nga binibiro ako ng asawa ko na maghahanap daw siya ng bagets para maalis ang inip niya sa gabi .sabi ko ok lang kawawa ka naman basta kako mag ipon siya ng pang ishiaryo niya.tatawa lang siya.sa amin kasing mag asawa nagkakaunawaan kami.basta ang sabi niya wag ko lang pababayaan ang bahay ang pag aasikaso ko sa kanila okey na daw siya nuon.

[mOtt_erU]

hi Reina..:)
alam mo I admire you for being true to yourself...at kahit nga may shortcomings yung asawa mo sayo saiking eh iniintindi mo na lang...tama yan..though may mga needs talaga tayo ..:)

[hayaren]

@Reina 6717

not to be judgemental or anything , pero instead of entertaining a thought of looking for the solution outside of the relationship ( a lover) , why not try to address the issues internally . mahirap ng makakita ng tutuong magmamahal sa yo .. baka makakita ka nga pero baka gamitin ka lang .. . . sayang yung i~invest mong pagmamahal sa wala lang pag nagkataon .. be careful :)

docomo, you just echoed, mirrored with your signature, i can say you're into win-win situation if possible but of course am in the same line with you.

[mamimo]

Hi to every one, for those who are married to a japanese person , i would like to ask if even in long years of married life , do you still enjoy your nightlife in bed?

Im married to a japanese person for 5 yrs. ago but we lost our nightlife in bed :( hindi pa naman kami matanda to stop doing it coz where in our 30s and 40s pa,kahit niyaya ko ang hubby ko he, just tell me that hes tired and not feeling to do it raw. Wala namang bisyo sya sa babae coz after work ay uuwi kaagad sa bahay and watching tv and go to sleep, i can feel that he loves me but , the nightlife is out of it. Sometimes im thinking crazy to find a lover to provide the thing i want just to enjoy my sexlife ,but not thinking of breaking up to my hubby coz i still love him .
I want to know some of those who have experience like me and how they solve their problem about this situation.Please give me some advice.


Hirap nga din ng walang sex lalot asawa mo naman sya at bata ka pa, tanong ko lang........granted na napa-intindi mo sa asawa mo na importante sayo ang sex (w/c is normal) pero di sya willing na ayusin ang problema, kaya mong mag-stay w/ him & ignore your needs? Tanong lang to pero kung ayaw mo sagutin leave it...........thanks. :)

[love0308]

Suggest ko lang why don`t you try to tease your husband? Lalo na kong yasumi nya, o kaya pag yasumi nya mag hotel kayo;) sa totoo lang di pa ako maka relate sa thread na to kasi bago pa lang kami ng asawa ko at active pa ang sex life namin although nabawasan ng konti kasi nung boyfriend ko pa lang siya more active kami. Baka rin kasi stress si hubby sa work nya eh. Di kaya try nyo maligo at mag oforo ng sabay he he baka magising and natutulog:D

[ganda_ko]

Reina san

di ka lang nag iisa madami kang kasama isa na me jan.:( lam u minsan dumdating sakin yung time na gustong gusto ko pero shouganai di talaga pwde kasi dapat maggaman na lang me,sa case ko naman kasi ang asawa ko may sakit sya sa puso minsan na try na namin mg contact pero nabitin lang kasi muntik na syang atakihin,kaya since nun aware na kami mag love making mas gugustuhin kong mawala ang night life ko kesa naman ang mawala ang asawa ko kahit na ganito ang situation namin di pa rin nababawasan ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya.atleast ikaw naranasan mo ng mahabang panahon ang night life and now 30's kana pano naman me im only 21 too young pa para sa ganyng situation but shoganai kailangan ko yung iaccept.basta advice ko lang kahit wala na kayong body contact make yourself busy,keep praying,and dont look another guy kasi malapit tayo tukso di ba,wag mo nang hayaang makagawa ka ng di mganda para lang sa sarili mo.
Gambate ne!:)

[love0308]

ganda ko

bilib ako sayo kasi sa edad mo na yan 21 natitiis mong wala kayong contact ng hubby mo dahil love mo sya! and that is the true meaning of love kahit wala kayong love making eh di nababawasan ang love mo sa kanya:) i salute you girl!:) more power sa inyo ni hubby mo:)

[cosmicbblgum]

I agree with love0308, maswerte yang mister mo at ganyan mo siya kamahal. Kudos to you Reina-san. May heaven send a woman like you at my doorstep tomorrow ^_^

[liong]

ehemm..... ehemmm........ di ako makarelate.......... ..:D ano ba itong nightlife sa bed?
akala ko sa roponggi lang ang night life.......saan ba yang bed na yan...?:eek:
peace tayo................ ...:D

[namisurf]

:D :D :D :D Nakakatawa ka talaga palibhasa active siguro night life mo...
Approaching 30 na rin ako hot in bed pa rin kaso nga hindi na siya so
alang magawa kundi i busy ang sarili...;)

[aviationlady]

ako rin....meron! :D

who else?

Yung classmate ko meron den po kita ko sa drawer nia:D

[Reina 6717]

HI To Everybody who respond my post, matagal na rin akong hindi na visit kc, i have found my answer to my problems:) Im working the whole day na and keep very busy na nga,and in the the late afternoon naman i went to driving school until 9pm:D so very tired talaga:) . Until now, wala pa rin contact ng hubby ko but , i'll try to accept na ganito talaga ang married life ko, and i also ask some of my japonesa friends here, and they told me na mas suwerte raw kc,wala namang bisyo (uwaki) yong hubby ko, and hindi naman masyadong nakikipag-inuman,and umuuwi kaagad sa bahay . So very homey husband lang talaga, satisfied na rin ako :) I just keep my self busy to other activities na lang and work :) Thank you for advise, minsan nakakalimutan ko na masuwerte ako kung ikumpara sa iba na mas malaki at marami problema kesa akin.:O

TO ALL MANS AND WOMANS GOODLUCK TO ALL:thumb: