reon
07-31-2005, 09:26 AM
An ancient pond!
Basho leaps in,
The sound of the water! (http://www.bopsecrets.org/gateway/passages/basho-frog.htm)
The Japanese literature fans and geeks among you may already know these classics but for the uninitiated, here are some computer haiku written by masters of the past decades. Zen computing.
(These are actually haiku error messages submitted to a contest conducted by Salon in 1998.)
----------------------------------
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
-- David Dixon
----------------------------------
Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
-- David Carlson
----------------------------------
I'm sorry, there's -- um --
Insufficient -- what's-it-called?
The term eludes me...
-- Owen Mathews
----------------------------------
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
-- Peter Rothman
----------------------------------
Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows,
I begin again.
-- Chris Walsh
----------------------------------
The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.
-- Barry L. Brumitt
----------------------------------
Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?
-- Pat Davis
----------------------------------
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
-- David J. Liszewski
----------------------------------
Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.
-- Charlie Gibbs
----------------------------------
Server's poor response,
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.
-- Rik Jespersen
----------------------------------
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
-- Suzie Wagner
----------------------------------
Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
Enter this system.
-- Jason Axley
----------------------------------
This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
Have to delete you.
-- Charles Matthews
----------------------------------
Wind catches lily
Scatt'ring petals to the wind:
Segmentation fault.
-- Nick Sweeney
----------------------------------
ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
-- Mike Hagler
----------------------------------
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
-- Simon Firth
----------------------------------
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
-- Howard Korder
----------------------------------
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
-- Bill Torcaso
----------------------------------
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located but
Endless others exist.
-- Joy Rothke
----------------------------------
Stay the patient course;
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down.
-- David Ansel
----------------------------------
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
-- James Lopez
----------------------------------
There is a chasm
Of carbon and silicon
The software can't bridge.
-- Rahul Sonnad
----------------------------------
Yesterday it worked;
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
-- Margaret Segall
----------------------------------
To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy.
-- Brian M. Porter
----------------------------------
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
-- Cass Whittington
----------------------------------
No keyboard present,
Hit F1 to continue;
Zen engineering?
-- Jim Griffith
----------------------------------
Hal, open the file
Hal, open the file, Hal
Open the, please Hal
-- Jennifer Jo Lane
----------------------------------
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
-- Francis Heaney
----------------------------------
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
-- Judy Birmingham
----------------------------------
The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.
-- Jason Willoughby
----------------------------------
Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."
-- Len Dvorkin
----------------------------------
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
-- Ian Hughes
Basho leaps in,
The sound of the water! (http://www.bopsecrets.org/gateway/passages/basho-frog.htm)
The Japanese literature fans and geeks among you may already know these classics but for the uninitiated, here are some computer haiku written by masters of the past decades. Zen computing.
(These are actually haiku error messages submitted to a contest conducted by Salon in 1998.)
----------------------------------
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
-- David Dixon
----------------------------------
Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
-- David Carlson
----------------------------------
I'm sorry, there's -- um --
Insufficient -- what's-it-called?
The term eludes me...
-- Owen Mathews
----------------------------------
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
-- Peter Rothman
----------------------------------
Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows,
I begin again.
-- Chris Walsh
----------------------------------
The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.
-- Barry L. Brumitt
----------------------------------
Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?
-- Pat Davis
----------------------------------
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
-- David J. Liszewski
----------------------------------
Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.
-- Charlie Gibbs
----------------------------------
Server's poor response,
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.
-- Rik Jespersen
----------------------------------
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
-- Suzie Wagner
----------------------------------
Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
Enter this system.
-- Jason Axley
----------------------------------
This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
Have to delete you.
-- Charles Matthews
----------------------------------
Wind catches lily
Scatt'ring petals to the wind:
Segmentation fault.
-- Nick Sweeney
----------------------------------
ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
-- Mike Hagler
----------------------------------
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
-- Simon Firth
----------------------------------
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
-- Howard Korder
----------------------------------
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
-- Bill Torcaso
----------------------------------
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located but
Endless others exist.
-- Joy Rothke
----------------------------------
Stay the patient course;
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down.
-- David Ansel
----------------------------------
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
-- James Lopez
----------------------------------
There is a chasm
Of carbon and silicon
The software can't bridge.
-- Rahul Sonnad
----------------------------------
Yesterday it worked;
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
-- Margaret Segall
----------------------------------
To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy.
-- Brian M. Porter
----------------------------------
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
-- Cass Whittington
----------------------------------
No keyboard present,
Hit F1 to continue;
Zen engineering?
-- Jim Griffith
----------------------------------
Hal, open the file
Hal, open the file, Hal
Open the, please Hal
-- Jennifer Jo Lane
----------------------------------
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
-- Francis Heaney
----------------------------------
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
-- Judy Birmingham
----------------------------------
The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.
-- Jason Willoughby
----------------------------------
Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."
-- Len Dvorkin
----------------------------------
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
-- Ian Hughes