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docomo
05-14-2006, 10:51 AM
I spent some time today looking and reading net. I found data portraying divorce rate is increasing from 60 % in 2001 to 70% in 2005 in most of the countries. In addition to that the second marriages are less successful. What is happening there and why this leads to the same end as the first meant to be forever?

Reading few sites I found interesting conversations among people. People are describing their views on love and its span over the years. Although, they are right from their stand point of view (mostly women), they are missing the second part of this equation, a Man, with whom they would like to be. It was obvious to see that all of them want to be independent, but is it the strength of the Woman to be independent? Each woman can earn decent income and live accordingly, but salt and water boils to one, the communication and relation to the person you share life. This barometer of people’s relationships has tendency to constant jumps and differs among families.

There are many factors, which predispose end of mutual life. I found also that women stayed in relationships, being unhappy, just due to their socio-economical status and because of children. Other broke the marriage and started new life to end it soon again. So what is wrong? In my opinion, the heart, inner beauty, receptiveness, responsibility, intelligence, emotional wealth, grace, and love to themselves and life are answer to the long term happiness of two souls, which keep union, forever....

We are craftsman of our own life, where kind of thread along with its color and qualities will determine the final picture of life tree. Young bride spends time, even years preparing herself to new life and designing this ornament, which will represent their symbol – union of two hearts and souls. Colorful emotion, depth of feelings, and abilities to be present and share allows smooth run in life. Later in years, when candle loosing bright flame, it’s two hearts who continue to keep light in steady manner through the years they travel. The wealth of human soul arises connecting two in even tighter knot they had before. The unseen energy of two and signals sent to the heart of loving soul will eventually touch them. Sensitive souls accept and decipher code while other fail, leading to constant accumulation of negative energy on their heart.

What person can do when he/she give all and when he/she is sensitive enough to all, but not understood, accepted as he/she wanted, and taken for granted with all her/his effort to make it work. People deprive themselves from the most valuable gift they received coming to earth – a life: to live, to learn, and teach ourselves in order to promote love on planet. All comes to one, the depth of human soul that influence on human love design. What happen when misplacement occurred, what happen when cards were wrongly mixed, what happen when mutations took place? You got your card and now it becomes your burden? Person has tried all their best and all he/she could, but the second holder played tricks on them. Marriage ended. He/she kept patience, one time to raise a voice not frightened to loose, but win a life.... Is it?:confused:

chris_rock
05-14-2006, 01:17 PM
i guess a lot of factors come into play here; love (or the lack of it), trust (again, or the lack of it), socio-economic conditions, and the list can probably go on and on. but at the end of the day, it's where both partners stand in the relationship that will tide them over to the next day...the next month...the next year.

some relationships are off to a good start (or so it may seem) only to crash and burn in the end...while some may seem rocky at first but experience smooth sailing afterwards. i'd like to believe that anything and everything will work if the couple works as a team.

remember that when the union starts, you are not just spouse-a or spouse-b anymore. you have been merged into one now. so everything both of you think should be geared towards maintaining, sustaining and enhancing the relationship.

you can't paddle the boat into different directions, that's when the trouble starts. you might as well have rocked it from the very start.

a good solid foundation will work to your advantage. a meeting of the minds, patience, tolerance, trust and love (the very defining factors), etc...

but i guess sometimes, fate has this really funny way of messing with the plans of mice and men. but then again, it's all up to you...

hope i made some sense. :)

infinite_trial
05-18-2006, 11:06 AM
i am not married yet but i have basically lived mah life in a "broken" family. when i was younger mah idea of family is livin wit your mom, stayin wit your granny's and waitin for dad to come home. this is very typical setup for filipino family...and i believe it made a major impact on mah parents' marriage.

as i grew up i noticed that mah parents' have really nuthin in common. maybe they were so in love, eloped and got married in haste. there were a lot of miscommunications, and conflicts weren't really resolved cuz of pride and lack of compromise. mah father bein the first born of a huge family (10 siblings), he was expected to provide for his family aside from us. financial problem enters the picture...and the question of who's to provide arised. mah mom, ever since, is just a plain housewife...but she managed to find some ways to make ends meet. mah dad went home from the middle east when i was still 9, empty handed. i heard that he almost got jailed there cuz of gamblin and a fight between him and his coworker. i was a papa's girl but it changed as i learn more about him. i suffered depression without mah parents knowin how difficult it was for me to handle things on mah own.

someday, i also want to have a family of mah own...but i can't remove this fear that it might not work. as a matter of fact, i should have been engaged by now but fear dawned in me cuz i thought the guy might not be able to provide for mah family and mah kids would have to suffer the same fate as mine.

but then, money is not all that you have to deal wit. commitment in marriage is really important. both should work out whatever problem arises, keep an open communication, build trust, have faith in the relationship and keep the love burnin. now mah question is, when should a damaged marriage should end? does it have to?

if only people have the same views about marriage...then maybe, it won't be hard to get into one.