Letting Go and Moving On

[dr_knockers]

Just want to share these thoughts... here's a divorce success story, a post from the forum by a man who calls himself half crazy. I'm sure you'll agree with me that there's nothing crazy in what he writes:

" When I got married I said "I Do", and meant it. I would have lived my life to keep that promise. But, no matter how well you know someone, do you ever really know them in their heart? I was relieved of the responsibilities of my wedding vows, and handed a separation agreement.

My wife left in May of '98 after 14 years. I felt like if I waited for her to come back, not only had I wasted the first 14 years, but the time waiting in vain too. I gave it a few months, gave her space, left her alone. Then I asked her if she would like to spend some time together and see how it goes. Then I asked if she would like to try couples therapy with me. She said no to both, and was dating.

Once I had a new relationship developing, she changed her mind. It's like the "dog and the bone" thing. The dog is tired of the bone, the flavor is gone, and the bone is cast aside. If ANOTHER dog comes along and picks up that bone, suddenly that bone is the most important thing in the world again.

A relationship is like a piece of cloth. You can wrinkle it, spill things on it, soil it, but it will come clean and look new again with some effort (and a hot iron). But once the cloth is torn, no matter how good you can sew, the tear will always be visible as a constant reminder of the damage. Knowing her, knowing myself, I knew we could never get past our problems and be happy together again. We would just be prolonging the inevitable and wasting even more of our all too short lives.

I moved on.

Now, a couple of years have passed. I have the love of the most wonderful woman. If I had ordered her from a catalog, with check-boxes to specify exactly what I wanted, I couldn't have done better. I feel like sending my x-wife a thank you card for setting me free to live the life I have now, and love someone for all the right reasons.

It's funny how time changes everything. Remember, life is short. Stop being a victim. Take control of your life. It's one thing to get your heart broken, and quite another to allow it to stay that way. "

Live Your Life, You Only Get One...Take care of yourself.

[striver]

nice story, i think his right. you must move on:)

[Autumn]

I dont seen any craziness in what he wrote..letting go and moving on is the right things to do..sabi nga nila pag may nawala may kapalit..:)

[dr_knockers]

agree with you guys(@Striver & Autumn). thanks for reading...:)

perhaps the most difficult part of "letting go" is finding the internal strength to recognize it is time to let go the person, or the thing which mean the most to your life, and let the love or dream die. This is one of the most painful things to do in lives.

But over time, we will learn to live a different life, with our loss... it is only time that can heal the wounds.:)

They say:
"When one door closes, another one opens. But if we keep trying to go back through the old door, We may never notice the new one which is often much better than the old one."

Adapt to a life forever changed and just keep living...:yippee::yi ppee::yippee:

[Ashley]

That's one of the most cool success stories i ever read... Amazing, i know things happen for a reason. Specially, the part where he thank his x-wife for letting him go.... gyahhhhh!!

[efernao]

nice story. its a good thing that he moved on and found his happiness:)

[geminigirl]

Just want to share these thoughts... here's a divorce success story, a post from the forum by a man who calls himself half crazy. I'm sure you'll agree with me that there's nothing crazy in what he writes:

" When I got married I said "I Do", and meant it. I would have lived my life to keep that promise. But, no matter how well you know someone, do you ever really know them in their heart? I was relieved of the responsibilities of my wedding vows, and handed a separation agreement.

My wife left in May of '98 after 14 years. I felt like if I waited for her to come back, not only had I wasted the first 14 years, but the time waiting in vain too. I gave it a few months, gave her space, left her alone. Then I asked her if she would like to spend some time together and see how it goes. Then I asked if she would like to try couples therapy with me. She said no to both, and was dating.

Once I had a new relationship developing, she changed her mind. It's like the "dog and the bone" thing. The dog is tired of the bone, the flavor is gone, and the bone is cast aside. If ANOTHER dog comes along and picks up that bone, suddenly that bone is the most important thing in the world again.

A relationship is like a piece of cloth. You can wrinkle it, spill things on it, soil it, but it will come clean and look new again with some effort (and a hot iron). But once the cloth is torn, no matter how good you can sew, the tear will always be visible as a constant reminder of the damage. Knowing her, knowing myself, I knew we could never get past our problems and be happy together again. We would just be prolonging the inevitable and wasting even more of our all too short lives.

I moved on.

Now, a couple of years have passed. I have the love of the most wonderful woman. If I had ordered her from a catalog, with check-boxes to specify exactly what I wanted, I couldn't have done better. I feel like sending my x-wife a thank you card for setting me free to live the life I have now, and love someone for all the right reasons.

It's funny how time changes everything. Remember, life is short. Stop being a victim. Take control of your life. It's one thing to get your heart broken, and quite another to allow it to stay that way. "

Live Your Life, You Only Get One...Take care of yourself.

getting tired of someone and falling out of love is a big struggle. just like being what you are not. but there's a saying that if one door closes, another opens, or if you lose something or someone, eventually, another comes, maybe even better. it's tiresome letting the past having such a hold on you. maybe we should move on instead of getting stuck in this position. you'll save yourself a lot of grief. then maybe the stars might kick it up a notch and you'll be lucky to find someone better and for keeps. it is said that the relationships that remain, are the ones worth keeping.:) this is a nice story...

[bianca marie]

It's like my own love story... Im still waiting for the other door to open for me... Love really hurts.. That's all i can say.

[dr_knockers]

Let go of the past. The past is yesterday. It is irretrievable. When you relate to the past, you relate to no one or any thing. You are literally talking to yourself. No one else is listening. You have already heard all you have to say about that, so, let go.

There is a light at the end for everyone. It will be there whether you want it to be or not. But you as a person are the only one responsible for the quality and brightness of that light. Only postive action can help you make the life you want come true.

@Ashley, efernao, geminigirl and bianca marie, thanks for dropping by my thread. it was really nice to hear your thoughts.:):):)

"Time really soothes all sorrows"

[greatbarrier]

@bianca marie, ganun siguro talaga....otherwise, it's not love that you felt, if you're not hurting when you parted ways....but they say "we lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves."

just to share some scribbles from my journal....to love is to risk rejections, to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure...but risk is a part of life, and it must be taken, because the greatest hazard of life is risking nothing....

@dr.knockers, i can't relate so much coz i haven't really felt in love until now. i've been infatuated before & since it's just infatuation, letting go wasn't really hard...i must admit i wept a little, but it's because of the time, effort & little emotions that i spent...

but i just wanna share this...it's from harry potter....things are bound to happen and we should understand that, coz it's only with understanding can there be letting go, and with letting go can we only move on...that's the greatest irony of love....letting go when you need to hold and holding on when you need to let go....it's pretty hard though, i think, when to draw the line....

haaayyyy! eccentricities of life.........

[thermometer]

@bianca marie, ganun siguro talaga....otherwise, it's not love that you felt, if you're not hurting when you parted ways....but they say "we lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves."

just to share some scribbles from my journal....to love is to risk rejections, to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure...but risk is a part of life, and it must be taken, because the greatest hazard of life is risking nothing....

@dr.knockers, i can't relate so much coz i haven't really felt in love until now. i've been infatuated before & since it's just infatuation, letting go wasn't really hard...i must admit i wept a little, but it's because of the time, effort & little emotions that i spent...

but i just wanna share this...it's from harry potter....things are bound to happen and we should understand that, coz it's only with understanding can there be letting go, and with letting go can we only move on...that's the greatest irony of love....letting go when you need to hold and holding on when you need to let go....it's pretty hard though, i think, when to draw the line....

haaayyyy! eccentricities of life.........
:bonk: ....ayaw ko na mainlove..

[dr_knockers]

just to share some scribbles from my journal....to love is to risk rejections, to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure...but risk is a part of life, and it must be taken, because the greatest hazard of life is risking nothing....
Gb, I difinitely agree with you.
Indeed, it hurts to love and not to be love in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that persons knows how you feel. It is always better to have found the courage in love even if you lose it in the end rather than never finding love because you were too afraid to face the risks. We never take, if you think something will make you happy, go for it. Always remember that we only pass this way once.


but i just wanna share this...it's from harry potter....things are bound to happen and we should understand that, coz it's only with understanding can there be letting go, and with letting go can we only move on...that's the greatest irony of love....letting go when you need to hold and holding on when you need to let go....it's pretty hard though, i think, when to draw the line....

haaayyyy! eccentricities of life.........
Sad thing in life is that when you meet someone who means a lot to you and only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let her/him go. maybe God want us to meet few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the right person, we should know how to be thankful for the gift. We often times dont see the reason why we dont always get what we want, but in the end of it all, we realize that what we wanted was already been given to us. Just sit tight and be happy because God is thinking of something better for you.


Gb, thanks for sharing such thought provoking lines.

:):):)

[greatbarrier]

Sad thing in life is that when you meet someone who means a lot to you and only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let her/him go. maybe God want us to meet few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the right person, we should know how to be thankful for the gift. We often times dont see the reason why we dont always get what we want, but in the end of it all, we realize that what we wanted was already been given to us. Just sit tight and be happy because God is thinking of something better for you.

Gb, thanks for sharing such thought provoking lines.

:):):)Do you believe in soulmates? What about reincarnation? I know these are buddhist doctrine, but i do believe in them even though i'm a christian. I read a book on these authored by jimmy lichauco. He said everyone has a soulmate who is our companion in our journey towards soul purification. You help each other to complete the purification. Not until you meet & be with your soulmate and the soul purification is completed, you will be born again & again. So if in your past lifetimes or in this lifetime, you did not get to be with your soulmate, then, you are bound to be reincarnated until that time comes.

The question now is, how would you recognize your soulmate?! According to the author (JL), there is an unspoken bond, a connection, between soulmates. You get to meet them at a moment that you least expect it. And when it happens, you will both feel the reaction...it's not necessarily love at first sight...but something indescribable...it's as if we're totally swept off our feet in a totally different dimension. Thru time, as you get to know him/her, the intimacy goes beyond sexual expectations...it is built on love, understanding and communication.

Another question is, is love missing when you get to be married with the one who is not your soulmate? Again, the author said no...love comes in different level. But the love with your soulmate is totally unique! Also, JL said that if you get to be married with someone who is not your soulmate, it could be part of the karmic element...a prelude perhaps for the moment set for your rendezvous with your soulmate....

some thoughts to ponder on......

[mOtt_erU]

Dr Knockers, ang ganda ng clippings mo by the way..or yung innattached mo ,:)

It`s True that in a certain "Marriage or Realationship" when we felt that LOVE is gone already no matter how we wanted to Revive it.., it`s painful but we had to stop it.... beacause it`s not Fair to fool ourselves..
then a good heart -to-heart talk　is ESSENTIAL , then slowly MOVING takes over..

[dr_knockers]

Dr Knockers, ang ganda ng clippings mo by the way..or yung innattached mo ,:)

It`s True that in a certain "Marriage or Realationship" when we felt that LOVE is gone already no matter how we wanted to Revive it.., it`s painful but we had to stop it.... beacause it`s not Fair to fool ourselves..
then a good heart -to-heart talk　is ESSENTIAL , then slowly MOVING takes over..

thanks for dropping by mOtt_erU, yes you are right and it is a reality of life.:)

[docomo]

@ dr knockers

I think it's our reward for healing, dealing and not giving up on feeling .:)

[dr_knockers]

@ dr knockers

I think it's our reward for healing, dealing and not giving up on feeling .:)
Doc

Agree, what you thought is just the other side of it. It really depends on the person who is dealing the dilema. But when the situation seems very hopeless, i think giving up the feeling is likely the best way to take especially if it leaves us no other choice or other good reasons to stay...Life must go on. :)

nice to hear from you.:D

[hayaren]

NEVER linger on a bad past...Life is something that everyone should try at least once and the excerpt of that message where the author had his slice of the cake but the icing melted away..the important thing was to love rather than not to love at all:) that's the circle of life

[infinite_trial]

Doc

Agree, what you thought is just the other side of it. It really depends on the person who is dealing the dilema. But when the situation seems very hopeless, i think giving up the feeling is likely the best way to take especially if it leaves us no other choice or other good reasons to stay...Life must go on. :)

nice to hear from you.:D

some people find it hard to let go and move on cuz they don't help emselves. instead of viewin things on another perspective, they sulk in a corner and do nuthin bout gettin the past out of their system. they put all the blame on their selves, when in fact, it's not their fault afterall. sure it hurts...but it's not the end of the world. for sure, there are a lot of people out there who are worthy of their love. the only problem is, how to find the worthy one.

[meteor]

Letting go doesn't mean giving up, it means accepting that some things weren't meant to be.to let go is to cherish memories, but to overcome and to move on. to let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had,and all that you will soon gain.

Moving on is accepting, it is learning and experiencing and growing.to move on is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. it is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy.

[beibie_ash]

nice thread poh..
grabeh nakarelate akoh..

:cry:

[dr_knockers]

nice thread poh..
grabeh nakarelate akoh..

:cry:
thanks beibie_ash for dropping by. would you mind sharing your thoughts also? :)


Letting go doesn't mean giving up, it means accepting that some things weren't meant to be.to let go is to cherish memories, but to overcome and to move on.
@ meteor. Giving-up, I think is the only way to show that you are srong enough to let go of something. It is part of letting go but it will not make you a weak person, not a coward either. :)

[meteor]

@ meteor. Giving-up, I think is the only way to show that you are srong enough to let go of something. It is part of letting go but it will not make you a weak person, not a coward either. :)



Indeed dr_knockers moving on doesn't mean you are weak.
It only means that we/you are strong enough to let go. :)

[beibie_ash]

thanks beibie_ash for dropping by. would you mind sharing your thoughts also? :)

there was this guy.. whom i really love so much.. my first love.. kala quh our relationship will last.. u know.. like for years or mybe forever.. until i met his parents.. and things changed.. im not that stupid para hindi mapansin na ayaw sken ng parents nya.. so i asked him bout it.. pero walang sagot.. everytime na mgtatanong aquh lagi iniiba usapan.. and the hell! thru text bah nman nakipagbreak??!! such a loozer.. ang sakit.. as in sobrang sakit.. haloz magcollapsed aquh nun.. even my studiez, napabayaan quh.. ng dahil sa ex quh na 'mama's boy'..

til i met someone.. my angel.. thru him.. nkamoved on aquh.. na akala quh hinding hndi mangyayari.. muntik pa nga qung mabaliw ehh.. :biglaugh: napaka-emo q kzng taO.. and now.. im happy and contented with my life..

letting go? sobrang hirap, but we have to try.. no, mali.. we "must" try pla.. kasi mahirap na.. dadami ang wrinkles..:lol:

[love0308]

this story actually details my life! i let him go and we are both moving on!:D

[kris]

Letting go....saying goodbye even if you still love the person

Moving on...you set aside a time in your day and think of the person..and then you move on and on till one day hopefully,you'll find yourself thinking of the person not once a day but once a week,then once a month then finally only sometimes..

still in the hoping stage..

[Drifted.Love]

I dont wanna let you go but i wanna move-on...

So comeon... let's move -on... :D I love you baby... mmmuah. :kiss: