Can a man love two women AT THE SAME TIME?

[dr_knockers]

To my TF family,

I just want to share this article that we can learn about, hope it will enlighten your minds in one way or the other.

Should you have violent reactions out there, just feel free to post your reply on this thread...:)

==================== ===================
Can a man love two women AT THE SAME TIME?

He: So now you know. I'm sorry... but you see, I also love her.
YOU: What?! How could you! What about me?
What about us? That's unfair!

HE: I still love you too.
YOU: But that's not possible! You can't keep both of us. You have to
choose between her and me.

HE: No, please don't make me choose. I can't ! I love both of you. I
have too much love for just one woman.

Hold it! Let's cut this melodrama before this man succeeds in convincing
you that he really loves both you and this other woman. Okay, so he
claims he has too much love for just one woman. But wait, does the word
"love" mean the same thing to him as it means to you? For most women,
telling a man "I love you" is like making a lifelong monogamous
commitment. But is it the same thing with your man? Is this the kind of
love that he is talking about?

According to American psychiatrist Frank Pittman, a man who claims he
has too much love for just one woman does not really love two women, or
any woman at all.

"HE is sexually attracted to many women and want them to take care of
him. HE defines his lust or needy feelings as 'love'. But he is not
actively loving anyone," Pittman explains.

According to Pittman, this man only uses the word "love" to hide his
real motive--- which is sex. It is his way of making his desire sound
respectable somehow. HE thinks women would buy it as a valid excuse for
his infidelity.

So what's wrong with him then? It's nothing chemical, astrological, or
due to an errant shot from Cupid's bow. Above all, it is not a problem
in the relationship that he is trying to solve. Nor does he have too
much capacity for love.

Pittman explains: "He has an immature, narcissistic fear of loving a
woman. The crowded bed is his effort to escape the engulfing comfort or
the engulfing intensity of a real, equal, and intimate relationship with
a real partner. HE feels shame and inadequacy and fears being both fully
married and fully known."

Some men indeed fear being trapped in a marriage--- sharing a life with
a female partner who sees his flaws and giving up his dream of romantic
adventures with more than one woman. These men are like children who
fear facing the realities of life. They are not strong enough to give up
their women because they want their dreams of romance to go on.

So let's make this clear: Is it possible for a man to love two women at
the same time and with the same intensity??? Definetly not. The attention he gives his other woman is the same attention he deprives you of. The time and energy he lavishes on the other woman are time and energy you could have gotten instead. It's a zero-sum game. So if he decides to love two women, the "love" he'll be giving can only be incomplete.

And here's another point:
The fact that he tried to fool you is proof enough that he does not
really love you. For how could one hurt someone he truly loves???
Men and Women have to be clear when they use such a potentially
misleading word as "love."

Remember that love is not simply an emotion but something one does, a
set of observable and predictable actions.
If a guy really means it when he says "I Love You" it will show in the
way he acts toward you.

But isn't a philanderer bothered by his actions?? you might ask.
He seems to be enjoying his games. On the surface, maybe. But is he
really happy?

I remember a scene from a movie where the mother told her womanizer son
this:

"The playboys and playgirls of this world are the loneliest
creatures I have ever known. In spite all the love and attention they
get, they feel this certain emptiness in their hearts, which can only be
filled by truly loving one man or woman. And they don't know how to."

Indeed,no man can serve two masters; and no man can truly love two women
==================== ===================

[ANGELIKA22]

Since babae po ang magre-react,let's take a look at the reversed side of the story... what if it'll goes like this..CAN A WOMAN LOVE TWO MEN AT THE SAME TIME? (sorry po doc kung binago ko title hehehe)

Well for me it depends..i will be the loneliest person on earth kung mananatili ako sa isang pagsasama na wala ng pag-ibig. We must admit that not all married couples got bonded because they really loved each other from the very start. There's someone there who sacrificed his/her chance to to find his/her real happiness for the sake of ones' reasons and sa bandang huli na pala niya makikilala ang taong para sa kanya ay "THE ONE".

Sa pag-ibig,walang tama at mali...we all lived in a hypocrite world..madaling sabihing mali ang isang relasyong bawal kung hindi tayo ang involved pero sa mga taong nasa ganitong sitwasyon sa ngayon,para sa kanila sila ay tama. There's this saying "IF LOVING U IS WRONG, I DON'T WANT TO BE RIGHT".

Honestly, i'm a married person living in everyday routine until i met this guy na palaging laman ng isip ko ngayon. stranged but i must admit that he is not just a friend for me..i think he is a 'special person' who always makes my day complete. kaya lang kaibigan lang talaga ang turing niya sa akin kasi ayaw daw niya sa babaeng may asawa. i know he is not a fool para hindi niya maramdaman ang feelings ko para sa kanya and i salute him for that...he is not exerting effort to make me feel pleased at mambola. totoo siyang tao. kung ibang lalake pa siguro, ewan ko na lang.

[chubby_kulot]

Since babae po ang magre-react,let's take a look at the reversed side of the story... what if it'll goes like this..CAN A WOMAN LOVE TWO MEN AT THE SAME TIME? (sorry po doc kung binago ko title hehehe)
Sa pag-ibig,walang tama at mali...we all lived in a hypocrite world..madaling sabihing mali ang isang relasyong bawal kung hindi tayo ang involved pero sa mga taong nasa ganitong sitwasyon sa ngayon,para sa kanila sila ay tama. There's this saying "IF LOVING U IS WRONG, I DON'T WANT TO BE RIGHT".

yes,tama ka sa sinabi mo angelika san :king:


sa topic na to...angkop ang kantang "Torn between two lovers" and "Bakit ngayon ka lang"...[natrapik yata....] :hihi:

madaling sabihin na mali ang isang bawal na pag ibig kung hindi tayo ang nasa ganong sitwasyon... kaya di dapat tayo mag salita ng tapos sa mga taong nasa ganong sitwasyon dahil baka pagdating ng araw eh tayo naman ang malagay sa kinatatayuan nila...

para sa akin, you can love a two person at the same time...
pero un love na nakapaloob dun eh may pagkakaiba..dahil di pwedeng maging pareho ang pagmamahal ng isang tao para sa 2 taong involve..dahil di naman magagawang maghanap pa ng isang tao ng bagong mamahalin kung walang kakulangan ang kabiyak nya..unless na lang na talagang nagbibilang sya o nagpaparami sya ng lahi... :hihi: pero kung totoong pagmamahal ang pagbabatayan... kaya lang magagawang magmahal muli ng taong nakatali na sa isang responsibilidad ay dahil sa may kakulangan "siguro" ang taong kinakasama nya sa ngayon at un kakulangan na yon ay nakikita o naibibigay naman nung bago nyang minamahal ngayon..although di parin dahilan un para magparo paro ang isang tao...


ako,ayoko parin magsalita ng tapos..di ako matuwid na tao..at ayokong dumating ang time na kainin ko ang mga salitang mabibitawan ko :king:

[v_wrangler]

moderator hat off

I don't normally post here because I am neither good at romancing or making pakialam at how people workout their affairs. But this thread caught my attention, and I am surprised at how people would go at lengths to justify their adventures.

If you can tell your benefactors, able wives, husbands, kids and family about you loving another one and get away with it then go for it but please don't ever talk like its a normal thing to do.

Many families end up broken because kinilig si Nanay o si Tatay sa kindat ni kapitbahay. So if one feel like having an affair - get over and seal off the first one before jumping on another one.

Moderator hat on

[dr_knockers]

moderator hat off

I don't normally post here because I am neither good at romancing or making pakialam at how people workout their affairs. But this thread caught my attention, and I am surprised at how people would go at lengths to justify their adventures.

If you can tell your benefactors, able wives, husbands, kids and family about you loving another one and get away with it then go for it but please don't ever talk like its a normal thing to do.

Many families end up broken because kinilig si Nanay o si Tatay sa kindat ni kapitbahay. So if one feel like having an affair - get over and seal off the first one before jumping on another one.

Moderator hat on

Gomen nasai.:(

Thank you Mr/Ms moderator. Yes, you are right. I guess, it is not a proper thing to discuss such thing.

To my fellow TF members, really sorry for posting such thread...my apology, being the starter of the this thread.

@chubby and Angelika, thank you very much for sharing your ideas. Expressing oneself is better still than never at all...really appreciated.:)

This thread is now signing-off.

No further reply please. See you on the other threads...:D

Thank you!:)

dr_knockers

[sensei]

Should you have violent reactions out there, just feel free to post your reply on this thread...
Sabi mo kahit me violent reaction, feel free to post. Hindi pa close ang thread mo. There's nothing wrong about the topic. You're only asking opinions from this forum.


If you can tell your benefactors, able wives, husbands, kids and family about you loving another one and get away with it then go for it but please don't ever talk like its a normal thing to do.
Everybody knows it's not a normal thing to do. Maraming nasasaktan, maraming nagkakamali, maraming nasisirang pamilya. But this is a forum, me kanya kanyang points of view ang tao, hindi lahat agree that a man can love two women at the same time.
You are the moderator, you know what forum is all about. HIndi lang ito topic ng may mga asawa, pwede rin maging topic ng mga magkasintahan pa lang.



Let's get back to the topic: Can a man love two women at the same time?

A man can say "I love you both" yet time will come for him to choose. Hindi ganon kabilis mag decide...kase po naninimbang pa siya between the two. Tao ang pinag uusapan natin...no one is perfect. and there's no such thing as perfect relationship ika nga. People have differences...kaya may nagkakahiwalay, kaya may nababaling na pagtingin sa iba. Yung sinasabi nilang pagkukulang, case by case din yan. Pag me pagkukulang ang isa sa partner, maaring makita nila sa iba. How about, wala namang nakitang pagkukulang? At "accidentally" lang na mainlove ka sa another woman?

Look at this quote
ayoko parin magsalita ng tapos..di ako matuwid na tao..at ayokong dumating ang time na kainin ko ang mga salitang mabibitawan ko
Baka dumating isang araw sa buhay natin ang ganitong situation, at hindi malaman kung ano nga ba ang tama sa mali.

Pwede rin sabihin "I love you both"...para lang hindi masaktan any one of his woman. But it is the biggest lie dahil imposibble kayong mainlove to both of them. Ang tamang term dito eh mahal ko na siya at minahal kita. He can't accept the pain of letting go of the person he loved. He is afraid to sacrifice and lose the new found love. Dadating din ang panahon for him to decide...mararamdama n nia kung sino talaga.

Give him time...let him go. And if he comes back to you, welcome him with open arms.
Loving two person at the same time is definitely a lie.

[v_wrangler]

Hello sensei and knockers,

Sometimes it is very difficult for me to maintain my usual forum persona because I also moderate on the sideline. That is the reason why, when there are threads that strike me personally but does not really require moderation, I do the following:


[moderator hat off]

etc.etc.

「moderator hat on]
Moderators like me were once usual members like everyone else and when we were asked to help out in the forum moderation, our interests for issues that surround us did not stop. So I hope you all understand that when I post, it doesn't always mean that I am out to weild my moderator wands. Not at all. Thats the reason why I always put my thoughts in between the quotes above. To mean that what follows is my personal opinion and does not in any way - being dictated by the rules we implement when we moderate. I hope that we are clear on that.

Going back to the topic, knockers - there is no need to apologize, for you have done nothing against the rules, and in the same way you are not being subjected to moderation. I only shared my personal thoughts because there is always another side to the coin and the issue is dear to me.

My take on the subject will always be the same - if its worth saying to the family who love you then go for it - if not, then something must be wrong. Loving another person is the most wonderful gift one can give, but love does not live on love alone, Trust comes hand in hand. So when people start promising love to a person then starts saying they love another one, they also throw away the trust behind it all. Not a good sight.:(

moderators do not post ranting about a topic...they use PM
Sensei, shall I take offense on that sig of yours?:)

[sensei]

get over and seal off the first one before jumping on another one.



I like this part...
This would be the best decision a man can do...not just saying I love you because of selfish motives.

[v_wrangler]

I like this part...
This would be the best decision a man can do...not just saying I love you because of selfish motives.
__________________
Sorry...moderators can edit or delete a single word. If you have comment about the recent post replied use PM para hindi ma-alarm un thread starter :D
Thanks sensei - it seems we're now looking at the same thing. Rest assured that the moderators know their job well, and that all of us adhere to a strict procedure whenever there is a need to comment or moderate... Thank you for the reminder above, now if that is a sig, maybe its about time to fix them.

[dr_knockers]

Thanks sensei - it seems we're now looking at the same thing. Rest assured that the moderators know their job well, and that all of us adhere to a strict procedure whenever there is a need to comment or moderate... Thank you for the reminder above, now if that is a sig, maybe its about time to fix them.


Thank you mr. moderator...:)

This thread goes on...:D

[docomo]

Sometimes it is very difficult for me to maintain my usual forum persona because I also moderate on the sideline. That is the reason why, when there are threads that strike me personally but does not really require moderation, I do the following:

Moderators like me were once usual members like everyone else and when we were asked to help out in the forum moderation, our interests for issues that surround us did not stop. So I hope you all understand that when I post, it doesn't always mean that I am out to weild my moderator wands. Not at all. Thats the reason why I always put my thoughts in between the quotes above. To mean that what follows is my personal opinion and does not in any way - being dictated by the rules we implement when we moderate. I hope that we are clear on that.



... sometimes we ALL need to be confronted in a loving way, to be encouraged to re-examine our beliefs and philosophies .. we all need room to grow, and strength and support (not to be confused with force ,or coercion) from others in order to evolve into the better people we would like to be.... nice way of putting it ..:)


@ dr_knockers

.. i found your post very interesting , and agree with the majority of it .
however, i am not oppossed to individuals having whatever type of relationship they are comfortable with .. love is　extremely fickle . some people fall in and out of love with each other on a daily basis .. and no more complicated than trendy average typical love, it's just love ... :)

[geminigirl]

As you may see it, this is a crezy world, and love a crazy thing. More often men find themselves into amorous relationships with two or several women. (Though I know of several women involved with two men.) So a person can love two people at the same time. But when finally it becomes clear that the goal or person they were pursuing isn't just right for them, they tend to look for another, thus turning the habit into a really unhealthy and immoral practice.

Married men who find themselves into an illicit relationship may think that new experiences will lend their lives a rosy and romantic glow becoming worthy of a big screen adaptation. But the momentary pleasure you'd feel wouldn't outweigh your guilt. Plus there's no way to guarantee you wouldn't be found out. So why gamble? You'd just be hurting, and breaking people's hearts!:(

Cheating is like a double-edged sword. You can't hold on too long to sinful things. Maybe too soon you'd fall or get wounded. Either way you wouldn't want that!

Preconceived notions or prejudice? You be the judge.:)