DIVORCE

[ai_chan]

I recently posted my situation in the marriage forum. Without going back through all the details, I just need some advice from those that have gone through this before. I am overcome with fear. Fear of making a wrong decision. Fear of regret. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of the unknown. Right now I can sit here and say that I want a divorce from the man I have spent the last sixteen years of my life with. What scares me is wondering if in 6 months, I will still feel that way or wish I would have stuck it through. I have felt this way for several years now.

I just want to know from those that have been in my position, how do you deal? How do you know that you aren't making a huge mistake? My marriage is not good right now and I know that to make things better will take a miracle. I just want to make sure I am not having the whole "grass is greener" mentality. I am going through counseling but I just don't know. And being in limbo is killing me. It's so hard when you think of divorce and the good times that we did have come in to mind. But when I think about what's happening, I feel like I deserve better......:sick:

P.S.

HELP!....:cry:

[docomo]

I recently posted my situation in the marriage forum. Without going back through all the details, I just need some advice from those that have gone through this before. I am overcome with fear. Fear of making a wrong decision. Fear of regret. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of the unknown. Right now I can sit here and say that I want a divorce from the man I have spent the last sixteen years of my life with. What scares me is wondering if in 6 months, I will still feel that way or wish I would have stuck it through. I have felt this way for several years now.




I just want to know from those that have been in my position, how do you deal? How do you know that you aren't making a huge mistake? My marriage is not good right now and I know that to make things better will take a miracle. I just want to make sure I am not having the whole "grass is greener" mentality. I am going through counseling but I just don't know. And being in limbo is killing me. It's so hard when you think of divorce and the good times that we did have come in to mind. But when I think about what's happening, I feel like I deserve better......:sick:
HELP!....:cry:


Hi ai-chan.. Welcome to Timog Forum..

For me if the love cannot outweigh the negative feelings you are having -then it may be time to move on.

Have you talked about this to your husband? Are the issues irreconcilable? What's the situation?

No one here can tell you whether its time for you to get a divorce or not but I'd like to help by offering insight, a different angle and maybe some alternatives you may have just not thought of.

But I don't know enough about what you're going thru and I would hate to say something like, "stay and stick it out" and then find out that he's really abusive or something.You know what I mean?

Post again. I'd like to help if I can.

[vhallotte]

I recently posted my situation in the marriage forum. Without going back through all the details, I just need some advice from those that have gone through this before. I am overcome with fear. Fear of making a wrong decision. Fear of regret. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of the unknown. Right now I can sit here and say that I want a divorce from the man I have spent the last sixteen years of my life with. What scares me is wondering if in 6 months, I will still feel that way or wish I would have stuck it through. I have felt this way for several years now.


I just want to know from those that have been in my position, how do you deal? How do you know that you aren't making a huge mistake? My marriage is not good right now and I know that to make things better will take a miracle. I just want to make sure I am not having the whole "grass is greener" mentality. I am going through counseling but I just don't know. And being in limbo is killing me. It's so hard when you think of divorce and the good times that we did have come in to mind. But when I think about what's happening, I feel like I deserve better......:sick:

P.S.

HELP!....:cry:


just want to share my experience too. maybe it will help. i am a divorced too w/ 2 kids. i never feel any regret of making that decision. at first i was afraid too beacause i have no family and relatives here in japan. i have nowhere to go. im just lucky that my boss helped me get out of that house. (honto ni osewa ni natta) it was like hell on our 2nd year of marriage. i thought that it would work if we do some adjustment but after 6 yrs of marriage, i gave up (nani mo kawattenai kara). i never asked for any money from him. what i asked is freedom. now its heaven! i have my two kids and its enough.

[geminigirl]

I recently posted my situation in the marriage forum. Without going back through all the details, I just need some advice from those that have gone through this before. I am overcome with fear. Fear of making a wrong decision. Fear of regret. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of the unknown. Right now I can sit here and say that I want a divorce from the man I have spent the last sixteen years of my life with. What scares me is wondering if in 6 months, I will still feel that way or wish I would have stuck it through. I have felt this way for several years now.

I just want to know from those that have been in my position, how do you deal? How do you know that you aren't making a huge mistake? My marriage is not good right now and I know that to make things better will take a miracle. I just want to make sure I am not having the whole "grass is greener" mentality. I am going through counseling but I just don't know. And being in limbo is killing me. It's so hard when you think of divorce and the good times that we did have come in to mind. But when I think about what's happening, I feel like I deserve better......:sick:

P.S.

HELP!....:cry:



hi ai_chan. i only have this to say. it takes a long time to really know the person you're with. after all those years you thought u knew him, pero hindi pala. i wouldn't say you should or you shouldn't divorce. if you think letting go is the last recourse to give you peace and happiness then do it. if not, then don't. this is a really difficult situation with so many things to consider. but i still hope you'd come up with the right decision. perhaps prayers can help you. HE'S just waiting for your call.......:)

[nana]

HI!AI_chan,
have a divorce if without HIM:
..makes you complete
..makes you a better person
..smile flows from your face
..things are getting brighter,easier and better

but just remember,after your divorce,the first stage
of your life will not be that easy.
but if enduring all the hardships are still worthy enough....
make the choice......cause life is too short to be lonely....

[satsuki]

Hi ai chang..for me naman dapat pag isipan mong mabuti ang mga magiging decisions mo..indi lang think twice but think it over and over again..kun di na talag kaya pang i survive you should honestly talk to your hubby..ako kasi ang katwiran ko sa sarili ko kun halimbawang mangyari man sa akin ang ganyan,AYOKONG TUMANDA AT UBUSIN ANG BUHAY KO KUN DIKO GUSTO ANG MAKAKASAMA KO SA BUHAY..magiging mabigat lang ang loob ko..pero ang kaibahan lang sa third time n a nagmahal ako God gave me the MR. RIGHT...diko sinabing gayahin mo ang panuntunan ko sa pagmamahal but binigyan lang kita ng idea kasi iba iba rin naman tayong mga nagmamahal..

[Qoo]

naiintindihan ko yang nararamdaman mo...masasabi ko lang sayo.madaling mag pakasal.napakahirap mag divorce para kang binagsakan ng mundo...lalo na kung may anak kayo...sa akin naman.sa tagal kong nag tiis..10 years bago ako napag disisyon na hindi ko na talaga kaya...isang araw parang wala ako sa sarili ko..umalis ako sa bahay at nag iwan ng divorce papers sa asawako..mula nun binuhay ko sarili ko..tanong kailan mawawala ang sakit?...hindi nawawala ang sakit..mananatiling alaala parin ang lahat....pero kailangan natin sumabay sa agos ng buhay..sana makatulong sayo to...

[aeroguy30]

In the Roman Catholic church the institution of holy matrimony was raised to the level of a sacrament because it was assigned a divine origin and made an indissoluble union typifying the union of Christ with his church as his mystical body (matt. 5:27-32; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18; I Cor. 7:2, 10; Eph. 5:23ff.) Marriage is regarded by the church as ordained by God and thus as indissoluble. It is also regarded as a lifelong sacred union that could be dissolved only by death of one of the spouses.

If a marriage has been imperfectly constituted in law, it may be annulled; grounds for annulment include lack of capacity, no reality of consent by the parties, a vitiating defect in the marriage ceremony or the subsequent discovery of a A defect @ such as inability to consummate the marriage.

A voidable marriage occurs when some defects exist in the contractual agreement in which all marriages originate. Examples are marriages of the underage or the insane or a marriage procured by fraudulent means. Sexual impotency existing at the time of marriage also gives grounds for annulment. A voidable marriage may be annulled only in a lawsuit brought by the aggrieved party directly against the guilty party. In practice, voidable marriages are valid until annulled, and any children are legitimate.

Other factors to think about are your kids, their well being and how this will affect them spiritually and morally. If you think you already give all you’re very best to make your relationship work and still nothing happens. It is time for you to move on and go with your own separate lives. It is very difficult to live in one house with a person whom you do not know anymore. Always remember in every relationship to work the three main factors must be there: (1) Love, (2) Trust and (3) Respect to one another.

Divorce should be the last resort… it is an ugly business that will really affect your life. It’s either pulled you down or molded you to a better person. In every joy there is always a price to pay…

Remember in a divorce, only the spouses can really know the differences between them, and neglect of this distinction can produce reasoning by false analogy. :) :) :)